Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The fallacy of the active date…

Well first off let me not act like it hasn’t been well over a month since I have updated yall! Apologies but life has been HECTIC! Really that isn’t even the word its been busy at work, I am teaching three classes, dating, staying social, my AKA life is back in full swing and oh yeah I sleep a few hours here and there too! LOL

On the positive side life is good. I am really working on some work-life-school-social life-balance and I can’t lie and say I have arrived but I feel like I am actually enjoying the journey. I have been tuned into Oprah’s Lifeclass! If you don’t know you better ask somebody! Its great! She kicked off the show with weight issues and how the ego plays a role in shaping your life and not in a good way. The only down side is its almost too much, too fast. I am on lesson/day 2 but I think they are up to lesson/day 5. Its heavy, deep stuff; the lessons about understanding your self worth, learning self acceptance, and self love and how that creates your life. All are stepping stone to your best life ever of course!  So bottom line I am taking my time, the shows are repeated and they are also on line. I would highly recommend it!

Well today’s topic is one that pains me to say I have reconsidered. I’ve posted a few time about the dilemma of “dating & dieting” because a lot of dating deals with eating out and sitting down. I’ve shared the book I read called The Soulmate Secret before and one of the things the author suggests is write a list of qualities you want in your soulmate. Not things like 6’5’’ dark skin with cute dimples type qualities (although those may be pleasing) she wants you to think about what kind of lifestyle you want with this person and use those words to describe your ideal mate.

I am not ashamed to admit my list has over 100 things. that's right over 100! They are good things like: funny, smart, caring, attractive to me, honest, good chemistry, faithful, likes to travel, etc. on that list is of course “someone who is physically active and likes to workout regularly.” So along that line of thinking I have been saying I want to do “active dates” I went bowling with that one guy and the other guy we planned on going to a dance class. I created a new vision board with images of couples doing the things I wold like to do like travel, exercise, and other activities! Well this is a classic case of be careful what you ask for!

So kinda new guy from the Beres concert asked me to go bike riding. I lent my bike to a friend to do the Iron Girl so I got it back from her so we could go. Now I warned him I had not been on my bike since last August when I did the triathlon! I TOLD HIM THAT! But maybe all he heard was I did a triathlon and said I’d be aiight!

Well yall I wasn’t aiight! :-(

The bike ride was from Rock Creek Park in Maryland all the way to parts of DC and Virginia! It was far and it was hard and it was long and there were hills, lot and lots of hills! I felt bad because I couldn’t keep up! He doesn’t work out in a gym so I guess if I invited him to a Kickboxing class he’d feel like I did but that didn’t help my pride or ego that day! LOL

He kept stopping and waiting for me and making sure I was ok which should have been sweet but just annoyed me because it reminded me that I was holding him back! That was annoying, until I got left LOL

All day kept saying just go and wait for me at any major intersection then you can double back until finally he listened L I was hotttttt for like 10 minutes! I couldn’t believe he really left me!!! No sooner than I started to get really upset he came around the corner lol lucky… *humph* But I didn't let him know I was upset actually i was so happy to see him I was giggling and said "Awe you came back for me!" I'm such a sucka lol

We went Saturday which was the day of the MLK Memorial Dedication so it was packed even though we went hours later! I really didn’t want to go down there on that day because I really don’t like crowds but he seemed hyped to see it so we went bikes and all, all in the way and took some pictures and headed back. I saw a few people I know which was nice.

He still wanted to ride some more around the Lincoln Memorial but I was clear that I needed to rest up in order to get back to my car LOL so I told him to ride around and I waited for him and made some phone calls and he came back still looking like he had energy to burn so I told him to leave his jacket for me and go have fun again lol When it was finally time to go I felt like taking a nap! I was BEAT down! And FUNKY!!!!

OMG when you exercise like that in the element its different from an air conditioned gym! I started to really feel self conscious and really started to regret agreeing to do this bike ride! I mean this is still the courting I stay cute stage of our dating so what was I thinking!? He can’t know I sweat!!! Clearly all active dates are not created equal! I should have said bowling or even walking on a trail but biking 10-15 miles?!? Ughhhh!

Just as I was really starting to feel really…bad…out of the crowd comes an Omega and he rolls righhht up on me and tries to hollah now my date was talking to the Segway rentals people and well Mr. Omega saw his chance and swooped in lol He finally left and so I acted like nothing happened and kept it moving.  But it was right on time because I was feeling really self consciuos! I sweat like a man when I workout so that like flirting did the trick to keep my confidence up! Gotta love Da Bruhz!

A/w I liked the idea of the Segway tour and he got excited so looks like that’s an option in the next few weeks…see active, yet not sweating! I also mentioned rock climbing he said he was game but I had to clarify I meant INDOOR no one is loosing a life on a cliff! LOL On the way back we took a detour near the water and he asked if I ever went cannoning I said nope so he is up for that too! See again burning calories but not getting beat down! I am game!

The one thing I will say is, all in all I had a good time! It was nice to see the other couples and families out being active together as well and I liked being apart of that group. And even though I was funky he acted like I wasn’t lol we were both too tired to go anywhere but home afterwards so he owes me food and likka next week! But I had fun and he was considerate he brought water for me and carried a bag so it could hold our stuff and that was extra fat free brownie points for him! So in terms of my assertion about the fallacy of the active date I will say this be sure you are comfortable with whatever you both plan to do. Ask question and be prepared! I won't say I will never go bike riding with him again since it can only go up from here for me lol but a word to the wise is sufficient! Ease into the activities would be my recommendation! The last thing he said was "When can I see you again" so may be I am exaggerating about my funkiness lol

Anywayyy in terms of my own workouts its confession time... its been 3 weeks since my last workout! Ohhh ahhh hiss boo I know I know. I been in a funky mood lately and I know not working out does not help. On the up side I actually lost weight lol in fact I was back down to my lowest summer weight. So I am still 19 pounds from my goal. So I’ll take that. I haven’t been to Krav Maga in over a month if not more! I need to either stop that till Spring or get back on it.

My schedule is so crazy I teach Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday. By Thursday I want to just go home and Friday same thing. The past few Saturdays & Sundays I’ve been decluttering which is good but still I need my workout groove back. The bike ride was good b/c it broke that streak but its TOM and I am not feeling it at all. Needless to say he asked about going next week… *blank stare* I suggested we switch up between his ride and other places like Centennial Park and the B & A Trail. Both have fewer hills than that crazy Rock Creek Park. He said that was fair. J We like him...

Anyway that’s all for now I’ll do better even if its to confess I ain't doing better LOL