Tuesday, August 14, 2012
My goodness it is already the middle of August!?! All together now "Where did the time go!?!" Well life has been good and busy and well after a bit of a hiatus I am theoretically dating again. I mentioned I secured the services of a Matchmaker/Dating Coach. A one Paul Brunson . If you don't know who he is yet...give it about a week and you will. :-)
The first session was pretty informative and I learned a lot about myself and I got a bit of homework. No sooner than I got my marching orders I met a bunch of men and some in the most unlikely places including a sorority event where I neverrr meet men! LOL
About a week ago I had a very different post but I got busy and never finished it and I guess I didn't save it either! Oops! At the time I had 2 dates lined up but didn't go to either. I am not sure what Paul's feedback will be once I give him the details but I just think timing and chemistry are important.
Anyway, the take away advice from Paul was the #1 way people still meet their mates is via friends and family. The #2 way is online dating. The up side is I know a gang of people, the down side no one has tried to hook me up in a meaningful way. Now it may be for two reasons that kind of go together... (1) I am very busy with life (2) I may not be viewed as "needing" a man. While I am proud to be as independent as the next woman I never thought I gave off the I don't need a man vibe. So that's something to work on...
Online dating I am not adverse to although my last experience was well...it wasn't good. I know plenty of happily married couples that "clicked" online so I threw my hat in the ring with some tweaking from Paul. I was slated to meet a guy this weekend but that situation went downhill pretty fast so it didn't happen. I am in various stages of talking to other guys but we will see where that goes.
The issue I always have is seeking balance. A good friend pointed out that I take things on as projects like my weight loss, my sorority, Junior League, school, etc. and right now I have some down time in all those other areas and so the level of frustration I am feeling is tied to the fact that I don't have my other distractions. He may be right...no he is right... I know people who have met their mates at the same events I have gone to or via the same ways I have tried to meet men and well my luck ain't their luck is all I can say lol Another guy said I am thinking about it too much that may be true but its not like I am sitting at home and not living life! Its like I am told to live my life and it will happen and while i do that people are saying you are too busy for someone. I mean whats a single girl with world domination on the mind to do? LOL No seriously what? Ah well thats what Paul is getting paid for right? :-)
Right now my workouts are king and there is a reason why people tend to gain weight when dating or when they get married because you spend time together and if you are not with someone equally interesting in health and fitness that can be a challenge. And honestly its not a challenge I need while I am trying to reach my goal of 23 pounds gone by the end of the year. Terrible ain't it?! So I may be getting in my own way becasue of that fear.
But we will see. I think we are what we attract and I think as I keep working on myself and the homework Paul gave me about my wants vs. needs it will come together. I have a follow up this week and we'll see how that goes.
I am finally getting back on some kind of a routine with my Personal Trainer Charles! Its been months at this point and every time I get back with him I remember why I make the investment/sacrifice to have a personal trainer! I am soooo sore! And its not like I haven't been working out because I have! But its just different when you have someone else to push you beyond what you think your limits are!
Right now my workouts look like this:
Mondays- Personal Training, Chizel It morning class & Chizel evening class
Wednesdays- Spinning & other cardio
Thursdays- Personal Training, Any other cardio/machines, etc
Saturday- Spinning/Body Combat/Body Pump
Sunday- Body Combat and other cardio
I am clocking some good hours and it feels good. I was feeling kinda salty or maybe pissy is a better word yesterday during my second Chizel it class because I was looking at other women in the class thinking I have to work twice as hard for half the results and that just got me into a foul mood. Poor Charles knows my moods and he called me on it lol
But I noticed that the shirt I was working out in was kind of big on me and I actually bought it like two years ago and when I got it, it was so tight I could barely get it over my belly! So I had to get my mind right. Because the negative thoughts were actually affecting my workout. I have been doing "Two A Days" for a few weeks now but last night I felt so winded and I kept stopping and I just realized that was me falling down mentally because I was comparing myself to these other women. My body will do what I tell it to but all that negative self talk was impacting that connection.
I still got a great workout and I went home and had two good conversations with two guys. The one guy from the AKA events I don't think its romantic connection in that sense but he is attractive, funny as heck, and very cool. The other guy has a Pharrell-esque thing going on and I am looking forward to getting to know him better.
I am still not in my normal happy go lucky space but it was raining cats and dogs this morning and I left my umbrella at work and I remembered I had a rain coat in my basement that I bought back in May but it was too tight. I really liked it got it in hot pink and black but barely wore it because I couldn't button it and the arms were way too tight but I figured it would be ready to wear by the fall. To my surprise I put it on and buttoned it up without even thinking and it fit! Talk about right on time!
I hateee bathroom self shots pictures LOL but I didn't want my coworkers asking why I needed to document this lol It just reminded me the only person I need to compare myself to is MYSELF! And that's not just in terms of weight loss but in all areas I think the areas I need to be most mindful of are relationships and weight loss because I really dont get down about other areas or goals so this was an on time reminder!
Have a great week! I'll check back in soon! I am 23 pounds away from my 2010 goal weight (1st pic) and 76 pounds from my start weight (2nd) I am excited and focused (me in scary bathroom self shot today)!
Posted by Cylia at 2:30 PM
Friday, August 3, 2012
I had a lot of things going on over the past two weeks (I know what’s new) but the biggest of which was my sorority’s conference in
! I have been to SF a few times but never like this! Once was work related the other two times I was a kid so its almost as if it doesn’t count! But this trip?! This was full on GROWN WOMAN B.I. (that’s short for business I think!) San Francisco
There’s really way too much to write about but the highlight was the Golden gate bridge walk/run! About 30 of my sorority sisters and I did a 5k plus lol its 1.7 miles across one way J Goodness what fun!! What commitment! Because it was cold as heck! LOL Bt we did it! I am such an AKA and gift geek I got commemorative pins made and gave them out! Sorors loved it!!! J
I will post some pics and stuff below there was a lot of wine gorgeous
Sonoma and ! I mean I love to travel overseas but goodness know the good Ole US of A has got to be one of the most beautiful paces on the planet as well! Napa Valley
Well I also neglected to update you on my dating coach/matchmaker I mentioned thinking about doing it and well I put my money where my mouth was and did it. The first session's feedback was great and I have “homework” so I will keep you posted on that progress!
I did a networking event last night called a "Plus 1 Happy Hour" at Phaze 10 and it went well. The concept is that you invite about 10-15 people you know then ask them to invite one other person. The only catch is no one else can know them. Its a way of expanding your network and meeting other people. Simple and easy right? Soooooo tell em why only one person brought a legitimate Plus 1 with them? I know I am a rules person but this did not seem like a hard concept to ask a friend or co-work to join you for a 2 for 1 Happy Hour drink downtown on a Thursday. And the one person who did bring a legit Plus One seemed like they were on a date so it was kinda hard to encroach upon them but at least he did it lol
Sooooo that meant I had to meet my own new people... and I did six inf act three where the owners and the others were three random guys at the bar. See easy...lol... I got into a really good relationship conversation with random guy #1 and one of the guys I invited. It was something made for tv for real! The good thing is guys can catch it as bad a women in this game and not that, that made me feel better but it made me feel..normal. Dating, relationships, etc. is not walk in the park and choosing wisely is the best course of action.
Part of my matchmaker homework is narrowing down my deal breakers/wants/needs based on what I with Paul's help that I identify as my top three values. He pushed me to identify my top three after giving him a list of 10--No fair! A/w they were
#1-Sense of humor
#2- Caring for others
#3- Being committed or passionate about something that will improve or add value to the world.
Who knew I was THAT deep? lol Bottom line if someone doesn't match those three they gotta go. And in looking at past relationships I see why we didn't "fit" if those things are important to me I need someone who respects that and lives their lives accordingly.
All good things to actually know and think about I am going to work on my list for out next sessions and we will see. One other good thing he told me was I actually meet more men and date more than the average person lol well shoot I guess that's good considering there were years that went by when I didn't date at all!
I am a hot commodity!
I met some new people and one guy called me a hot commodity because I was 37, educated, single, never been married, and I have no kids. I laughed and asked him really? I mean I think I am the best but its nice to hear accolades from others :-) I have to run but I wanted to brag and say I worked out everyday I was away and lost 1.2 pounds! I see collar bones yall!!
Have a great weekend!
Posted by Cylia at 4:55 PM