Thursday, April 5, 2012

Seeing Jesus

Well its been super busy! But what's new right? :-) Its finally spring and the weather is changing and life seems to be flying by! I went to Weight Watcher last week Saturday not knowing what to expect because I did not get a chance to workout like I wanted to because as is always the case life gets in the way.

I always talk about balance and that was a week where other priorities took precedent and so the work outs were lacking. And guess what? I LOST 2 FREAKING POUNDS!!!!! I was and I am soooooooooooo happy about that! That's showing me I can still make good choices and I can trust myself to reign it in when need be.

Its been an emotional time which is my challenge because I have used food as an emotional crutch or as an escape for soooo long that actually dealing with my emotions has been a learning process. So let's recap I had a huge fight with someone I considered a friend for over a decade and it just really hit me hard that someone I cared for and helped would have such bad feelings about me. The level of the anger she expressed showed me not only did she not love me (as she claimed) as a friend she really doesn't even like me as a person. It was that bad. I am a very black and white person and its funny I just read a comment that someone left for me about an old post Overdosing on Positivity and I replied back that my new mindset was to be able to let people go. So this is a situation I am fully ok with letting go but that doesn't make it easy emotionally.

The other thing that came up was my Line sister's cancer came back. If you've read for awhile you know I did the Columbia Iron Girl Triathlon in her honor with Team in Training to raise money for  Leukemia & Lymphoma. Well as scary as it is to be diagnosed with cancer once before 30 its doubly scary to have it come back. She's undergoing treatment and I went to see her and I can't lie it was hard. The oncology unit is not somewhere anyone wants to be. The illness, the feeling of death, ughh its hard. But she's been very positive and I am praying so hard for her and I know things will turn out well. In fact she took me to see Jesus!

Johns Hopkins University has the huge statue of Jesus and someone told my Linesister about it so we went on a mission to see Jesus! AND HE WAS AWESOME! (If you know her you can hear her voice  as you read that lol)

It was a little eerie but I did touch the hem of his garment! They also have a book there that people can write their prayers. Again a little eerie to read but they were so heartfelt.

It put my journey into perspective life is too short I won't spend it stressing over every half a pound. I say that because the week before I went up .4 pounds and I was sooo..hurt, angry, and just upset! Now I know that's less than half a pound and I was trying to do the right thing and go to weigh in before I went away and I felt like see that's the thanks I get! But I mean seriously I had to get a grip and say Cylia you are healthy, you are strong, you are in a position to lose weight.

There are people who are battling serious issues not that obesity is not serious but it just helped me to realign my thoughts so when I weighed in last Saturday and I was down two pounds I nearly cried real human tears (lol) of joy! I've been so stressed out. Work has been busy, AKA busy, Junior League is busy, and I had another death in the family.

My favorite Aunt's husband so he's my Uncle passed away. :-( I saw him on my last trip to Jamaica and it was expected but of course that doesn't make the news any less sad. Death is funny not ha ha funny but ironic. See I've been holding this thought in as I've been having more and more of theses funerals to go to, but the Pastor spoke about it at the funeral so some how I feel ok to say it...death makes you think about your own mortality. Seems selfish but its true.

The Pastor made the point that death is a time to reflect and refocus and put one's self on the right path. I am a spiritual person. I do believe in Jesus the Christ and I do think there is a God and what all His magnificence entails I don't know for sure but I do think that we are all here to do some good in the world and ultimately that's the true measure of one's life.

I was having that conversation with my sorority sister about the fight I had with my friend and telling her that's really what bothers me most about the situation; I felt like I had done some good but it was not appreciated. Its just one of those things though like beauty I guess friendship is in the eye of the beholder...so I'll blog about it but not over eat about it and call it a day.

Well back to the bizz at hand! Oh wait a quick detour! I heard from Beres Fan! Weirdest thing I was talking with a Soror about him saying we just needed something different I had no beef and wish him well. I was telling her we had a lil fight but I'll call him on his birthday to give him a ring he left with me. He told me to trash it but I know he loves that ring so I kept it. Not even a hour later he called. I mean I was still in her car talking about him when my phone rang. Weird! But I always say thoughts have wings...

We talked, played catch up, I told him I still had his ring and he thanked me and told me even if we don't work out as a couple he thinks I am a great person and wants us to be friends. I never fully recapped but the reading I had said that cue the Twilight Zone music. He asked about us going riding again since the weather was getting nice and instinctively I told him speaking to him doesn't mean I want to see him. (Ouch!)

Yeah I know. But he's a man he took it on the chin and has been in touch ever since.

I know he's not the one so I am ok with not catching feelings again. I don't think he's a bad person. So we'll see maybe we'll do some bike riding in the summer. No pressure.

Anyway so I weighed in at the gym's Makeover Challenge I was down 3.2 pounds! I was a little late weighing in but I am sure I am near the top of the list! Its TOM so I am not running back in there anytime soon but I need to get on track with their weigh ins so I can see my name on the board!

This week most of my exercise consistent of walking in airports. And I am not saying that lightly I walked a good mile in Miami! I skipped all the people movers and just walked! Go me! I am debating going to my trainer's gym tonight and we'll see I would like to at least get on the treadmill Friday night. Saturday I am going to go to a flea market with a friend and get rid of some more of my old clothing and shoes! Good way to de-clutter and make some cash at the same time! So that's at 9am so I may have to do a later afternoon workout. Sunday looking to do some spinning and weights! I am at 31 pounds out of my 37 lost by my 37th birthday! Not bad, not bad that's 8 pounds since January. I'll take it!


Well anyhoo here are some pics of my crazy few weeks! I'll be back soon with more good news :-) PS I did not win the mega million next time!

In Providence RI for a day trip to judge the Regional Conference Awards books

With baby sis on her birthday in TAO-Las Vegas

A speaker at the "Cool Women, Hot Jobs" Career Fair! Awesome future attorneys in the room!

The Theta Omega Omega Chapter Afternoon Tea!

Junior League of Baltimore's Leadership Training quick pic with my friend and former color group leader (in Greek terms Dean of Pledgees) Karen! Awesome!

Pic from from Jamaica!

Vegas baby!

Long distance Tea pic I just love that I have a waist lol

3 comments:

  1. As always, it is a pleasure to read your escapades!

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  2. Thx for sharing!!

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  3. Wow. I am glad this blog was recommended to me. Nice to meet another Soror

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