"You have to own the personality you are!" ~Judy Smith, Esq.



The real Olivia Pope!!!!



Well what a week I have had! Today I can truly exclaim TGIF!!! TGIF!!! TGIF!!! Well unless you've been under a rock some where you know all about the hit ABC show Scandal by Shonda Rhimes of Grey's fame. Well I got a chance to meet the real life "Olivia Pope" she had a lecture well really more of a chit chat with a room full of admirers, myself included! She was great! So down to earth. In fact she left the stage to be closer to the audience. She talked about the show, work life balance (she is married with two sons), and discussed her career and gave awesome advice for the college students in the audience.

She was gracious enough to take pictures with everyone who waited in line which was awesome! She seemed really at peace with herself and that came across loud and clear. She made the comment "You have to own the personality you are!" when discussing how she conducts business and how she deals with people. She is not a shrinking violet lol and she said basically you have to know yourself and do what you have to do. It really spoke to me because my personality is not for everyone. A few of the friends I was with gave me a silent nod lol It made me think of the fact I wasted a lot of time trying to make people like me and in retrospect some of these people made their minds up long ago that they just would not like me. I let that quest go. I can't change but so much at 37 and to be honest I am happy with who I am. Not that certain things about myself can not be improved but if it doesn't work for someone I am not going to break my neck and spirit to change for them either.

Anyhoo good experience! I have not been feeling 100% not sure what that is about but I can say I've been eating a bunch of crap (Micky Ds, Roy Rogers, Red Lobster, etc.) and not working out consistently! So there you go. I am working on that though. I was playing on facebook on my way to work and I saw an e-book  on Paleo for $15.00 so I am going to get it. The guide my soror gave is great and I have gotten some great info there so this will supplement that!

Seeing the picture with Judy Smith was a reality check I was W---I----D---E--- around the middle! Granted she is TINY...NO...tiny.... BUT STILL!!! I was like no no no Cylia if we are back to cropping pictures we know we are wayyyyy off plan! No LOL!!!

So I am starting fresh in April with my WW Paleo Plan. Paleo works well with Weight Watchers because it focuses on eating clean and in WW fruits and veggies are 0 points. I feel full and its an overall good marriage of my dietary needs and weight loss goals. HOWEVER COMMA... This emotional eating is not good. Any stress I am still reverting to soothing myself with food and if it was an occasional slip it would be one thing but I am not going to keep beating a dead horse.

So yesterday I did well I went to another agency for lunch and came upon this great salad called the Lebanese Fattoush Salad. It was awesome! I added some pulled pork that was slow roasted in a Paleo friendly way. Below is the picture! 

I did not have the pita but here are 2  versions of the salad. It is very light and tasty and I plan to make some at home because this dish was $13.00 :-/ at the salad bar! But it was some kinda good!!!


 INGREDIENTS:

•1 head of romaine lettuce (or any other lettuce), torn in pieces
•a bunch of purslane or mâche
•a few Persian cucumbers (or English-hothouse, or just plain cucumbers)
•a few tomatoes, diced
•a few radishes, sliced
•green onions, sliced
•a handful of chopped Italian parsley and a handful of fresh mint
•a green pepper, diced (optional)
•a large loaf of pita bread or 2 small pita breads
For the Fattoush dressing:

1.2 small lemons, juiced
2.1/2 cup of extra-virgin olive oil
3.2 generous tablespoons of sumac, plus extra to sprinkle on the pita breadsticks
4.2 or more cloves of garlic mashed in a dash of salt in a mortar
METHOD:

1.Brush the pita breads with plenty of olive oil; sprinkle plenty of sumac on top.
2.With kitchen scissors, cut the bread into thin breadsticks. Toast in a 325F oven till crispy and golden. Set aside.
3.Prepare all the salad ingredients; mix the dressing; when ready to serve, toss the salad with the dressing and serve the breadsticks on the side, or break them up the traditional way, and incorporate in the fattoush.

OR

Found WW version PointsPlus Value: 4 per serving
Servings: 6
Preparation Time: 0 min
Cooking Time: 0 min
Level of Difficulty: Easy
Ingredients
3 head(s) romaine lettuce
4 Tbsp dried spearmint
4 Tbsp red wine vinegar
4 Tbsp Filippo Berio Olive oil
2 medium lemon(s)
1 medium English cucumber(s)
1 medium uncooked red onion(s)
1 medium fresh tomato(es)
2 tsp kosher salt
3 clove(s) garlic clove(s) , finely minced
Instructions
1. In a large mixing bowl, finely mash garlic into salt. Chop tomato and add to bowl and combine with garlic and salt mixture and allow to sit for at least 10 minutes. In the mean time, cut English cucumber into half moons and chop red onion. Add to bowl. Add the dried mint, red wine vinegar and olive oil. Chop romaine and toss in the large bowl. Serve


Here's another version you can check out!
http://www.kalynskitchen.com/2009/09/recipe-for-fattoush-lebanese-crumbled.html


Aside from that all is well. I had a pretty stressful week at work its a really busy period and I am juggling a lot of cases. Also the Manfriend was under the weather but he's feeling a bit better now but we haven't seen each other since last week. :-( Today is Good Friday and I was debating taking off because he is off but figured I should go to work for at least  6 hours and leave a bit early to spend time with him :-)

I have some great trips coming up sorority related and just for fun so I need to be careful with my leave! So I am here! Its funny I was telling him about my two upcoming trips my Dad 70th Birthday I am going to Florida and the follow week is my sorority conference. I could hear the pregnant pause on the phone like "Well what about me?!?" So I was quick to ask him to take me to the train before my conference so I could see him before I leave and I told him I would take a late train. Its so weird being in a relationship!!! Thinking about the other person and when you have a consistent schedule with each other its difficult to balance it. The one great thing is several of his family members are in a sorority too and they are very active so he told me he is used to it. So we shall see but I have been talking to Sorors that are married about that balance so I will do my best and be sure to keep the lines of communication open. Fortunately both trips are quick...but I have a cruise coming up in June/July that I will wait to mention down the line lol I am so excited about that trip it leaves from Puerto Rico and goes to St. Croix, St. Maarten, Antigua, St. Lucia & Barbados!!!

Can't wait! Tomorrow I will go to Weight Watchers and face the music it will not be pretty to be honest I don't even know how I missed so many meetings! You know its bad when facebook friends email you to see why you havent checked in lol But it was a nice email saying I inspired them to join and they ahve had such ood results they were checking on me :-)

My Mother was here last weekend and mentioned a co-worker lost 50 pounds by joining Over Eaters Anonymous. I looked it up and my co-worker actually told me she lost 80 pounds over 8 years ago by going to meetings. I went on line and looked up a meeting and went because I often say to my family and friends WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME I WAS THAT BIG?!? They all swear (well my family does) they tried to talk to me but I wouldn't respond kindly (lol) I don't recall that lol so I said IF she is taking the time and effort to actually talk to me about it I should listen this time. I am 40 pounds from goal... So that's till 60 pounds lost...I am proud of that 60 pounds but it is sad to be that far back up that's regaining almost half my weight back in 2-3 years. Long story short I didn't find the meeting and the women I called said they have not been members of OA in almost 5 years. So I need to do some more research but there are phone meetings and online meetings so there are options. Its just more help, support, and accountability.

I was looking at the old pictures I still have on my walls and I was thinking for the first time I should change them out for new pictures because I don't want Manfriend to see them. I can't say I ever felt like that before and I don't know if that's the/my ego or an attempt to move on from that Cylia. I am still debating it. The hard part is a lot of my newer pictures I don't have printed off although I have started doing a few but Lord knows where they are. So I don't know but I gotta make a decision today before he sees them.... I'll report back.

But if you have had that experience please let me know. I know on facebook so many people have confided in me their weight loss stories (privately) but there are nooo picutres anywhere of their former selves.  I have left most of mine up. It is who I was those were still good times and moments in my life I was just severly overweight. But I can't say when someone digs up an old picture I don't cringe just a little bit... but I deal with it and I've been pretty proactive about posting before and after pictures to help others. In fact when I posted the salad I had for lunch yesterday someone posted that I helped them make a healthy choice for lunch after seeing my salad. That is all I want to do help others and be helped in return.

But not sure what to do about the old pictures I will think about it....

Anyway its pretty quiet at work so I figured I would update my blog. So one thing off my to do list today :-)

 Have a great Good Friday and Passover and Resurrection Sunday!

17 Days!

Hey yall! How is everything!? Hum hummm making small talk to avoid conversation about what's going on lol ok well so my weight is back up into another weight zip code! I am devastated but I really wasn't devated enough to get my butt back in the gym or workout at home consistently. Or eat properly! I have these rebellious phases with this lifestyle! These health ahd fitness pity parties where I get mad at myself and mad at life about the amount of effort I have to put in JUST to maintain forget trying to lose! So I now have 40 pounds to lose... Not pleased at all with myself!! Not at all!   On the positive side I am back with Charles we worked out on Monday again and it was tough! It reminded me that every time I am away I pay the price!

I posted in my sorority workout group the struggle I was having and one of my sorors asked a great question about what I have happening now that may be causing my behavior. DUH! Why didn't I think of that!? In talking/typing it out I did realize I had 4 new cases at work, I was busy with my chapter awards books that I put off until the lastttt possible minute and I had to admit that I had some anxiety or anxiousness about my new manfriend! I don't know why...well that's not true! I really like him, we really like each other. We speak every day for hours he's usually the last person I speak to at night and we either speak or he sends a text first thing in the morning. He is great, funny, smart, active in the community, passionate about his work, he's very open and is a great communicator,  he respects me, he's superrrr affectionate, he is patient with me, treats me well, and he even put me on a timeline in terms of our relationship progressing, and I have 0 complaints. ZERO!

He is like everything on my vision board. Its crazy...And I think the fear of things changing or not working out is creeping into my mind. Not that he has done a thing wrong its just lingering there in the back of my mind. But because I am not a touchy feely person and I used to rely so heavily on food to deal (or rather avoid dealing with) my emotions rather than talking to him or talking it out with friends or hell even journaling it I have been internalizing that feeling of looking over the shoulder or waiting for when the shoe drop and using food to deal with the feelings. Not good... but its real talk and I'm human.

So he invited me to his church for Easter to meet his family and needless to say I am happy about that and I guess it kinda made me anxious without me even taking a moment of feel the feelings. In her documentary Beyonce talked about her feelings of fear and how she had to learn to embrace it, feel the fear and move on and do what she has to do anyway. I liked that. That more than anything resonated with me and made her so much more human in my eyes. Hottest chick in the game...who married MY man (Yall don't forget tht! I loved Jay Z first) AND she has fear...anxiety..anxiouness... yeah perfectly human... I love and respect her for sharing that.

So today I decided (as is my constant quest for balance) to work on living in, embracing and most of all enjoying the moment. TODAY everything is perfect. I need to enjoy and embrace that and be grateful for it. I have a wonderful man who isn't afraid to (a la Steve Harvey) profess, proclaim, protect, and provide consistently and I need to know and accept the fact that I deserve a great realtionship..or in the words of Eat, Pray, Love ~*~ I deserve something beautiful~*~ The friends I have spoken to in more detail about our relationship have all (men, women, 20, 30, 40, 50s year olds) said the same thing "You deserve it!" I think when we have some bad expeirences or havent dated in a while and we are working on ourselves gettign to that point where you don't want to settle and you can walk away easily from situations you don't deserve it does take a minute to sit down and appreicate when that good thing does come.

I know everyone has a thing they are working on but my life is so blessed right now I dare not treat myself in such a way that doesn't honor all that I have and how far I have come.

Before I went to teach yesterday I was in my car journaling like a mad woman about asking God to help me and just get it together. I said take the next 17 days (from now until Easter) and I will eat right and exercise at home on my faithful treadmill that brought me so far EVERY MORNING AT 5AM!!! and as soon as I put my pen down a young man came to my car begging with tears in his eyes for $4 to catch the bus home because he was just release from central booking (jail) and wanted to get home. I don't carry cash but I felt compelled to go to the ATM and give him $20 to eat and get home. I don't typically do that after a bad experience, I tend to just give to charities but I really felt that's what I was supposed to do. It put things in perspective for me I'm stressing over weight, eating, a new love in my life and people got REAL problems! I just felt it calmed me down a lot in my spirit to help someone and that was part of the key to my weight loss before doing direct community service. I had a mentee in the Junior League Wise Penny program, and an adopted family I worked with from my chapter, and other activities that were worthwhile so I'm getting back to those things. I found a quote that spoke to me "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

I realize I have to be patient with myself and the added stress does not help! So I am happy to report I did wake up at 5am...ok I woke up but turned back over for 15 minutes and then did 35 minutes on the treadmill. LOL

It made me late to work which I hate because the traffic is so terrible after 6:30am but as I was getting frustrated in the car I had to say out loud its not like you have a boss who is on your back clocking your time. It I come late I can stay late no biggie some of those people will lose pay for being late let them go ahead and drive crazy I'm good!

I cooked breakfast trying to stick with a Paleo eating plan still because I like it so I made 1 egg and a Trader Joe chicken sausage with onions and mushrooms that i had on my way to the bus. I brought a big bag of mixed greens, jerk salmon, and a great dish of roasted veggies packed it all up took a shower and got on the road! I also added Atkins shakes to my version of Paleo b/c I like them and they help with my chocolate fix.

So TODAY everything is going great! And I am happy about it!!

Mondays, Money, Motivation, My List, and other M words!

Well this Monday I finally went back to my personal trainer Charles! I actually took a Spin class then had a break to get some things done and went to him for a lunch workout! Two a day Mondays are back baby!!

And the workout....whew!! It was as hard as I remember! Thank goodness :-) I was a little sore for a few days but all is well now. I told him I want to get back on my two day a week workout plan! He will be away this Saturday so I will not see him until Monday! I am putting my money where my mouth is so I paid for 10 session in advance! *Exhale*

I need to go back to my motivation behind this! To be healthy and in order to be healthy I must be and I AM  willing to make the monetary investment. Having a personal trainer is what has and will keep me on point! That was one thing working out twice a week with Charles was my sure fire way to get in at least 4 hours a week! So back to basics!

So I am still up and down 10 pounds. I am still on Paleo but not 100% I actually went back to protein shakes this week. I just like them and I am using the nuts too much! Calories still count at the end of the day! I am still making recipes and trying to keep my fruits and veggies up so I am happy about that! Its amazing how such a small change can impact your body. I have not had chips, crackers, pretzels etc like before and I am really enjoying all the fruits, nuts and veggies! So good change all around!


I finally finished my February book: The Circle Maker! I can't stop talking about how powerful this book is! "Dream Big. Pray Hard. Think Long."

The final few chapters talked about Pastor Batterson's Life List. Its basically like my To Do List and Vision Boards! It made me think about updating mine. Honestly I did some reflecting on my 2012 and (hopefully I'll have good news about why that was in April) man it was a great year! But it wasn't by accident I worked hard towards some of those goals and it paid off. I came in excited about 2013 and I claimed a few things like a relationship! And I must say I am having a great great time with my Manfriend. *insert blushing here*

We had a fake snow storm yesterday and we were both off and spent 2-3 hours on the phone three times yesterday. Effortless!  I am half way shocked at the way things are going but then not really. I was very specific about my Soulmate Secret Treasure map/ Marriage Vision Board. So I am just enjoying the ride and watching this manifest.

Its so refreshing and makes me feel good about all the times I told myself it would be better to let go off the unhealthy temporary relationships to make way for something more fulfilling and real. Its like diet and exercise forgoing the unhealthy food or going to the gym for a pay off down the line. If we lost 5 pounds every time we worked out or made a good food choice everyone would be healthy its the delay in the results we want so badly that gets us every time. That's how the milkshake wins over the step class and then we have to start all over again. Which is perfectly fine and human but we all have to get tot hat point where we know saying no to the temporary is truly worth it and we are worth it.

Anyway we have a few plans this week to see some jazz shows!  He asked about doing a local getaway in April to St. Michael's I've never been but I told him YES!!!! I can't wait! He is planning some kind of trip for my birthday in June and *exhaling* its just sooooo refreshing and I deserve it! Talk about going from theory to practice! :-)

Its nice to have someone to go out with, kiss and hold hands with etc. but honestly I just enjoy our conversations sooooo much. We've shared some of our personal and professional goals. And I love that!!!! I can't think of the last time I dated a man with some serious plans like this for his career and personal/family life. And one not scared to talk about marriage and we have certainly talked...well I listen he talks mostly lol. I mean it isn't for everyone but he just reminds me of how Steve Harvey said men (a good man) wants a good woman and they have to be in a certain place to do this thing right. He's hit a lot of his goals and the other ones he has discussed with me are awesome. Inspiring may be a better word. I've never been too keen on two world dominators in one household HOWEVER I could get use to this! Its actually very attractive! I don't meet too many planners like me so I am enjoying this experience to the max!

Anyhoo all this good energy  got me to thinking about doing a Life List today and so I did it and posted it to facebook. I was feeling called to fast and pray for over a week now and so I am doing it today to get some clarity on some things and I came up with the list below! 

"At some point in the process of goal setting, you need to muster the courage to verbalize it. The act of verbalization is an act of faith. When you write d...own a goal, it holds you accountable." Page 183

I combined my To Do List and past vision boards and this is a good start (*) are things I already did. What's on your list?

Family Goals
*Reconnect with family more
Send my parents and sister on an exotic vacation (Fiji, Thailand, etc.)
Get married to a happy and healthy man of God!
Have a destination wedding (yall already know where!)
Celebrate our wedding anniversary in a different and unique way every year
Have at least one child
Name them after one of my grandparents
Raise them to be a superstar
Create a family foundation
Leave an inheritance to our children
Write an autobiography
Research our family tree more deeply
Do community service as a family four times a year

Influence Goals

Speak at a high school/college/law school graduation
Write a New York Times best seller
Help someone start a mentoring program for young men
*Teach a college course
*Teach a law school course
Get a PhD
Host a tv show
Sponsor a school in Jamaica
*Teach the importance vision boards and goal setting
Serve on the Board of Directors of different non profits at least 10 times (*5/10)
Serve as President in at least 5 organizations (*2/5)


Experiential Goals

*See a new Broadway play or musical every year
Go to the Superbowl
Go to a film festival
Do a silent yoga retreat in the Bahamas (*1/2- would like to go for a few days)
Read the Bible cover to cover
Take a hot air balloon ride
Go horse back riding
Go on a mission trip with Mediators Without Borders
Learn Chinese and go to China
Take a cooking class
Take a modern/jazz/tap/ ballet dance class as an adult
Learn to Salsa
Take a Photography class/course
Become a part time Photographer
*Start a business
Meet and talk to Oprah
Hear the Dali Lama speak
*Meet my favorite poet Nikki Giovanni (Done like 5 times lol)
*Hear Maya Angelou speak (Thanks Maryland!)
*Hear Alice Walker speak
Meet & hug Boris Kodjoe (I'm sayin'!!!!)

Physical Goals

*Do a 5k
*Do a half marathon
*Do a triathlon
*Lose 100 pounds
Do the Empire State Building run up
Do a century ride (100 miles)
Do the New York City marathon before 40
Hike the Grand Canyon
*Hike the Red Rocks in Sedona
*Go Whitewater rafting
*Go indoor rock climbing
Become a certified spin teacher
Pass Krav Maga Level 1 test
Walk the Great Wall of China
Fly a plane
Drive a race car

Financial Goals

Win 20 million after taxes from lotto/mega million something
Be debt free by 45
Give away 5 million dollars in money and services in my lifetime
Save more than I spend

Travel Goals

*Travel cross country
Visit all 50 states by the time I am 50 years old (41!!!!!)
Visit:
*Alaska
Fiji
Italy
Spain
Africa
Jerusalem
Australia
China
Japan
*Scotland
*Holland
*Britain
*France
*Puerto Rico
*Panama - Have lunch at the Canal
*Trinidad & Tobago
Montreal
Travel down the Nile
*Take a Caribbean cruise
See the 7 Wonders of the World
See the running of the bulls (from a safe distance)
Take a cruise all around the world with my husbandSee More



~~~~~~

So much to do right??!! the exciting part is seeing things I have already done and knowing the next year of my life will look very different and the same with the year after that as I check more things off this life list! If you have not done one try it today!!!

I will check in later this week! :-)

March Madness!

Whew February 2013 is GONNNEEEE! I am not sure where the time went but I am grateful for a brand new month! My February was a bit erratic food and exercise wise. I started strong with Paleo but around PMS/TOM time I went off track and really didn't get back on track consistently. Thank God February is a short month!!! :-)

I did get back to spinning on Monday and had a good class!! I forgot why I love spinning! I need to make that a regular class for me!  Another Soror was in the gym with her Mom she is making great progress her Lent "take up" was to exercise every day for 40 days! Awesome! I talked her into spinning and she did half the class and that was after doing half of Body Attack! She is going stronggggg she told me how much I inspired her and I told her its an ongoing process. There is no end date. I guess that may have sounded anti climatic but its your health and its the truth. I don't think I got that back in 2010 and that's how the weight came back so quickly.

I am reading the book The Circle Maker and today I read about Daniel 1:8 and the author suggested you make a resolution to not defile yourself. He wasn't talking about food but it applies. I need to wake up with that on my mind. To not use food in the wrong way. I need to pray, journal, exercise, mediate, get a manicure, call a friend, take a walk...food is not the answer if hunger isn't the problem!

I was out with my Man-friend (See Sex and the City episode on that term lol) and he was showing me some pictures of himself and his family so I did the same. He asked me to send him some of the pictures and I did and one was from the fall in my St John sweater and he looked shocked he asked if it was recent. I said yeah the Fall and he looked surprised lol but I am keenly aware now every 7-10 pounds makes a dramatic difference... he ain't said nothing (like any good man would he kept quiet lol) but I knew what his eyes were saying lol It made me think about getting my house in back in order... 35 pounds!!!! Its got to go!!!

Oh by way of an update: Yes we made it "official" we go together lol we have been having a really, really, really great time! We have great conversations, there's great chemistry, he's involved in church, likes to travel, is funny as heck, and is respectful to me and open to new things, open car doors, holds hands, and he dresses nicely... Most of all he does what he says he will do. I think as women we take little things for granted ...maybe that's not the right word but for example the last guy I dated had a habit of saying I'll call you back and wouldn't I never got upset b/c if we were on the phone at 9:30pm I was usually about to go to sleep anyway. But don't say you are going to do something and not do it and I think it was a snowball effect no call back then it became easier to not keep other commitments. I just don't know why people make dating so hard! I am a reasonable person so if something comes up its ok but my man-friend is really..stubborn... maybe consistent is a better word...that way if he says he is going to do something he will do it. Now he may fall asleep in the movie theater and start snoring and embarrassing me lol but he wasn't going to not take me. That matters. And I don't think I realized how much until I saw someone making the sacrifice to keep his commitments. If all dating was this easy the whole self help and  relationship counseling market would fold. LOL I don't have unreasonable standards, while they may be high they are not ridiculous and its just so refreshing to meet someone like him. Timing and chemistry has been my mantra so I find myself just smiling at random times. It feels great! Last night we tried a new restaurant I always see it but I've never eaten there. Its called Cuba de Ayer the food was good! He is going there for a trip in December so i thought he would get a kick out of it!



Arroz con pollo (Yellow rice with chicken) and plaintains oh and white sangria :-)


I didn't eat all the rice it was wayyyy too much! The place was small but packed! His mijito was one of the best I ever had! It even had sugar cane in there! Afterwards we went to the musical Once on this Island that my friend directed. It was a nice production! The story line always touches me :-) Gotta love love!

So last night was the end of  a busy, busy month and this last week was all about Awards season for my sorority's Regional Conference. Whewwww! Now I have a committee I just didn't use them properly lol I will have to work on that! But we got some good books done and I am thinking good thoughts about this year's regional conference awards banquet yet again!! :-D

But now that, that is over and that excuse is gone I started this morning off strong first step was to set some March goals: (1) Drink at least 90 oz of water a day (EVEN ON THE WEEKENDS!!!!) (2) Exercise for at least 45 minutes 4 days a week! (3) Stick to Paleo plan but I am giving myself 1 non -Paleo meal and drink per week

I went to the cafeteria at work and had an all veggie omelet with 2 slices of bacon and I got a cup of honeydew and cantaloupe. I feel good about that! On the way in I had an orange and the small Trader Joe pack of almonds. I have 2 apples and a pear at work and I have salad and my Shrimp, butternut squash and plantian soup. I plan to hit the gym or do the treadmill at home today. Anddd I am treating myself to new sneakers!  Its March Spring is almost here!!! I think Paleo is a great plan and I will stick with it but i already know weight loss only works for me IF I workout and exercise. Mostly bcause I eat a lot so i need to off set that while working on Daniel 1:8!!!

Will keep you posted on my March Madness Goals!!!