Narcissus

What a great weekend! I went to the gym yesterday for 3 hours!Nothing new for me but its been a minute! We had a 9am Brickhouse workout with Dwayne 10 am Zumba class and 11am Boxing class! I went out on a limb and did a facebook invitation to some friends to come since guest could come for the 3 classes for $15.00 and 3 people showed up!! I was glad I went and glad they came.

I got there about 5 minutes late for Dwayne's class and my "normal" spot was taken! I always workout directly in front of the mirror on the right hand side. And EVERYONE knows that! The lady standing there is usually in the back! I actually was upset but said to myself its my fault for being late!  I usually watch my form in the mirror and it is an opportunity for me to look myself in the eye. Exercising in front of the mirror keeps me honest. But today I realized...

I like looking at myself in the mirror!

Is that bad to say? LOL I am watching a new Showtime series The Borgias and the daughter called her young lover Narcissus and the story came to mind! Narcissus was a young boy in Greek mythology who looked at his reflection in a pool of water and fell in love with his own self. This is where we get the terms narcissistic and narcissism or somebody who loves only himself.

Narcissus


I do catch myself, checking myself out... often and everyone knows my love of pictures so maybe that's a by-product of this whole mirror obsession lol I guess I spent a lot of time not really looking in the mirror maybe just looking at my face and now I take time to take it all in and although I am still a work in progress I am pretty happy about where I am!  

Anyhoo this was a great weekend! My scale finally stabilized and it was actually .9 less than my lowest so that puts me closer to my goal! My size 16 jeans have some room and I am digging out my 14s! Certainly by my birthday they'll be back in full effect! 

I made it back to Krav Maga this week and it was a good class! 

Saturday the Alpha's had a party and I had a good time! It was like a wedding flashback from last week ie., The Wobble returned & call me dancing machine! One guy I know told me he could see the difference and I was looking good! I took a minute to toot my own horn lol I also got to talk to and dance with this other guy... Longgg story but he's cool. When he called me over I thought he was going to ask me something and I leaned in to hear and he took my hand to dance lol I asked him what if I couldn't dance his smart azz remark was "Well I guess you are about to be embarrassed !"lol We met at the same event as when I met Superman back in January. A/w we planned to meet up at a friend's event a few weeks ago but I was late and he left so I called and fussed him out so he said he would make it up to me so since he owed me an outting (not a date lol) I opted to have him take me out the day before my birthday to see Meshell Ndegeocello! The funny thing is her music just popped in my head last week ! I loveeeed her music in the 1990s and I was wondering where she was and if anything new was going on with her! Well lo and behold I go to google and she is touring and doing a review of Prince! Now I will miss hearing "Let Me Run My Fingers Through Your Dreadlocks" "At Your Door" and a few others but I am sure it will be an off the hook performance! I am looking forward to it. :-) He said he is too! Cool :-)

In other men news went on a date last week. He's a nice guy not sure if its a love connection but he seems really cool. Never married, no kids, has a degree and other good things on the list. I told him I am just dating for now and want to take time to get to know people because I feel like I rushed into my last relationship and he understood. I have been speaking to another guy we have not gone out yet but maybe next week. He's working on a PhD and is from down south so we'll see. Superman did text out the blue while I was in Atlanta but no movement there so what's a girl to do...keep her options open I guess! :-) So I'll keep ya posted!

June is almost upon us and I am going to do a Jumping June Health & Fitness Challenge! Please check it out on My Fitness Pal my name is LawyerGal1908
My 4 Goals:

1. Lose 10 pounds
2. Drink at least 60 oz of water
3. Do Bikram Yoga at least once per week
4. Weigh in daily

My anchor: Fitness - If it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body. ~Cher 

So its on! Join me!!!

Ohhhh I went to the Linganore Caribbean Wine Festival! In fact new guy #1 initially invited me to that event since he was going with a few friends but my Saturday was a lil booked plus I don't like the idea of a group first date. It became a non issue because he ended up asking me out in the week for an impromptu date and so I went with my sister and a male friend on Sunday and had a blast!

Gift glass

Curry chicken with veggies and plantians

The party goers

Chillaxing!



 

The year is flying by but I am looking forward to it and looking forward to what I'll look like by the end of June and beyond! Just call me Narcissus I'll just be careful to share my wonderfulness with others

:-)

 

Love, Dreams, & The Wobble

Wellllllll what a weekend (+) I had!!!! I made it back late Sunday night from Atlanta and my heart is full of love and happiness! What a great trip! My Soror's wedding was full of sooo many great moments it would be hard to list them all but (1) The way she looked~simply gorgeous! (2) Her Dad then Step Dad dancing with her (3) Seeing two people in love becoming one! Would be my Top 3!!! Ohhhh (4) Singing our AKA Hymn at a wedding! Its the only time I got teary eyed! (5) The Reception was off the chain! By the end my dress was falling down lol I just knew I lost weight from all the sweating! In fact I was down (after being up 3 pounds while I was away!!!)

Anywayyyy I loveeee love! And there was a lot of love in that room it was a great wedding I had so much fun! I DANCED THE NIGHT AWAY! My hair was DONE! But it was all good! The Bestman texted me the next day to say I looked beautiful and looked full of life :-) That was sweet! I guess by full of life he meant dancing like a mad woman lol but I am really happy for them. Got to love, love!



Ok so for my own highlight!!!! I got to walk down the asile with Ronnie DeVoe (Whooo hooooo!) from New Edition! Now I don't have many celebrity crushes but Janet Jackson is #1 (always) and Ronnie was always a fave of mine! I had his picture on my bedroom wall and even had a lil cut out from Tiger Beat magazine (what chu' know about that?! lol) of him in a wallet I carried well into high school! lol

I lovedddd me some Ronnie, Corey Haim, Heavy D, & Rob Lowe! A strange crew but that's how my mind worked at the time! Although I can be honest and say Rob, Chad anyone who would allow me to keep my last name and not be a blood relative had and still has a lot of potential in my mind! I really love my last name :-(  


Anyway....focus... So I knew my Soror was marrying his brother and as the months passed she told me looks like you'll be paired up with Ronnie! #Winning!!!!!!!!!!!!! I kept quiet not to jinx it and on Friday I met him and he still looookkkkksss gooooddd and he was funny and kind and really down to Earth and in fact a lil silly and an all around great guy! At the reception he was dancing with people and video tapping everything! Lord only knows where the video will end up! Anyway good times talk about a dream coming true lol from my bedroom wall to walking me down the aisle!

Ronnie DeVoe & I pre-wedding :-)

I had a great time! I even caught the bouquet and the bestman caught the garter belt that made for smiling faces all night lol I think the funny thing was I went up there but I wasn't even paying attention when the bouquet was thrown I was actually drinking a glass of wine and it landed right in front of me and I caught it! Talk about kismet! LOL I know some folks are MAD! But I guess that's really the story of my life things just always seem to work out! Favor! :-)

Soror Maria & I - 10 years of friendship & 7 of sisterhood!
Wishing her all the love her heart & hands can hold!

Well I updated you guys on my workouts already I am really proud of myself and I owe a huge thank you to my new weight loss buddy! I joined forces with one of my "Sisters in Sweat" via facebook to do a weight loss buddy system so we checked in on each other by texting the scale's outcomes Mondays & Fridays! Its a great way to keep each other honest and on track! I have been up and down so I was not looking forward to my Monday weigh in when I got home BUT WHEN weighed in Monday morning and I was back down plus a pound! I actually went down 5.6 pounds lol but scales vary but I'll take it either way!! Worst case I am down 3 pounds from 5/16! As long as it keeps going down I am good!

I really worked hard to workout while I was away and be more mindful of what I was eating and how much. Yall know I swap food for drinks and that's why I'll never be a real health nut (said with all due respect and affection) even my Fitness Magazine article was an after picture with a drink in my hand (lol). But I have always worked out on trips. I try to maintain my weight by working out but anytime you go away it feels like a vacay and you (or at least I) want to let loose! I usually gain though because when you eat out the portions are so huge most restaurants give you 3 and 4 times the right amount and when you are there having fun and enjoying yourself it is hard for me to stop! When you are home you have so much more control and I really am not a salad person but I read about someone who has a few bites rule. Meaning she will order whatever she wants but predetermines how many bites she will have of a certain item, eats slowly, then boxes the rest up. I can't think that hard but it is a good idea and it works for her. So I incorporated part of that system when I went away I took my time to eat and actually savored the flavors and textures of the food. I took home more than half of it!

Well I am going on mostly liquids for at least a week again to refocus! I did eat some good food and like I said I was up 3 pounds on Friday but that was an old school scale and like I said in the last post I had a huge meal that easily weighed 3 pounds to justify the gain lol but looking back there was really only one big meal and some likka ok a lot of likka! It was such a festive occasion I am really just feeling happy and blessed and loving life! The onlyyyyyyy downside from the trip is I am in pain lol my feet were killing me from all the dancing! I literally danced the night away! Between our AKA stroll, good music by  DJ Spontaneous, and this new line dance called The Wobble I am in recovery with a heating pad lol! Well worth it though! I made it to my personal trainer and had a great workout on Monday! *Thumbs up*


 I promised so here's the food from Pasta Bella!

Crazy good fresh baked garlic bread/rolls with olive oil I only had one! Could have had 10 though! 

Lobster Bisque- I only had half so rich & good!

White Sangria- Again I only had half lol

Lasagna, Chicken Parmigiana, Baked Manicotti & Fettuccini Alfredo

TOUR OF ITALY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $12.95

Ok so just so yall know I walked the entire Hartsfield-Jackson Airport instead of taking the train!
I went down at least 6 long hallways like this!
Ok so I earned at least half of what I ate!!! lol

The Wobble! The new hotness! A fun and a good workout!

Thanks Walmart!

Well I am on the road again :-)  This time I am in Atlanta! Its a festive trip since one of my best soror-friends is getting married on Saturday!!!!! I mentioned this before since I am actually not in knots about being a bridesmaid for once in my life since I was able to buy a dress right off the rack! That may not seem like a big deal BUT every other wedding I always had to buy the biggest size and have it altered (up) to eventually fit! Not this time! The dress actually had some room!

Its been a mess food wise though! But thank God for My Fitness Pal it allowed me to log in and keep track even if it is after the damage! :-)

Well my workout updates:

~I walked the Atlanta airport I have noooo idea how long it was distance wise but it took like 35 minutes & I was sweating. They have a train and most people took that but a few of us walked it! I even had my 2 carry on bags! Whew!

~I did 2 -10 minute On Demand workouts one was cardio and the other was Pilates

~I did 60 minutes of a made up workout this morning!
 I did a 20 minute power walk in my friend's neighborhood but I wasn't feeling the nature walk lol so I figured out how to get into the gym at the complex and did another 20 minutes on Libby the elliptical and did another 20 minutes of weights! Whew!

But I have to thank Walmart! Somehow I left all my workout clothing! My primary goal was to not forget the bridesmaid's dress lol so somehow I missed the workout clothing! Last night we made a Walmart run and I found a cute workout outfit! The pants were $7 and the shirt was $5



No Excuses! Ok I hate these kinds of self shots but everyone was sleeping lol



Well I had a good workout and I think I shall return to Walmart for more of the pants! Very comfy Daskin pants!

Ok so while I only went to Walmart for eye makeup remover and $2 wine I ended up with a cart-full of Walmart goodness! Always! Its such a love/hate relationship! LOL

I shall do a foodp*rn post upon my return :-) As those of you who have been on this journey with me since last year, may recall I hit my goal in May and went on a series of roadtrips the first of which was to Atlanta, then it was New York, Trinidad & Tobago, St. Louis, & then New Orleans!  Needless to say my goal weight went bye bye and I have been trying to get back for a year now! I am up 3 pounds according to the scale in the apartment gym. :-(   Butttt after the Italian food I had last yesterday I sure nuff ate 3 pounds of food so I can't be so mad lol

I am hoping to get one more workout tomorrow before we go to get our hair done and since we are staying at the hotel tonight I am going to try and workout again before the rehearsal or right afterwards but definitely tomorrow morning! Which will mean being mindful of what I eat and drink tonight at the "hen party" because I gotta get it in!

Laterssss!!

Meditation

Well a co-worker had a good idea to invite a friend of her's to teach meditation every other week. Yesterday was the first day I was able to participate and it was a good experience. I actually took some time to look up how one defines meditation and its actually hard to define lol I guess I can best describe it as getting centered and blocking out other worldly distractions.

I have been reading a lot about mediation and in the book The Power of Positive Thinking the writer tells us how important it is to take a few minutes to meditate in the morning to help enhance your day. To be honest when I wake up, I jump up and my mind starts racing before I am fully awake lol so this a challenge for me to just sit back and take a breath! I do try to say a quick prayer while getting ready but to actually wake up and meditate I haven't been able to. This noon time practice might be for me though. Apparently last week I missed a good one on mindful eating I may ask her to send me that one.  

She mentioned Spirit Rock and Sylvia Boorstein and she is well known for being one of the people who brought mediation to the West. She is actually a Jewish Buddhist! Interesting stuff. I did find myself nodding off and literally I would have to snap my neck back up to catch myself lol she gave us three words to focus on while breathing in and out. The "trick" is to breath in a certain number through your nose (say count to 4 on the inhale) then breath out also through the nose but double the number (so exhale to the count of 8) 

Another options was to focus on certian words and another was something with holding your thumb I can't recall. Anyway the word I used was Dayaa I liked the way it sounded its Sanskrit and she added the Sylvia comment which was "Life is easy..." I did a combo and switched it up but here are the words:   
Gratia-Grace
Chesed-Loving Kindness
Dayaa-Grace/Compassion

Here is the interview http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2011/what-we-nurture/

I felt more relaxed and my body felt less tense and that alone was worth it! I think it will be helpful on the mental and physical health aspects of the journey and help me reframe and refocus my goals. I made me miss Hot Yoga and I think I need to get that back in the rotation since my schedule will be a lil more free after all the grades are in!!

I was looking through some pictures and man 25 (*cough* 35) pounds makes a big damn difference! The picture on the left was from this year March 2011 and right March 2010 --last year same event! WTH?! I got to re-frame and refocus! 9 pounds is good but I need to go deep and keep my goal in the forefront of my mind. I am 21 pounds away from where I was on the right and I want that back! The next goals I'll worry about later. Game on! :-)

That's all for now! :-)

Overdosing On Positivity?

Welllll....I was accused of  "overdosing on positivity" yesterday and it hurt my feelings!

The person said I seem to really be overdoing it (it being positivity) between my face book updates and other postings and they wanted to know if I was going through something to cause this. I really wasn't aware of a shift I kinda feel like I am generally a positive and happy person! I have my moments like everyone else but I really don't feel like I have changed lately as the person suggested. I felt judged and I don't like that...lol
I mean who does? lol And my reactions wasn't all that positive to say the least.

My response in short was there are a lot of bad things going on in the world (war, death, natural disasters) and if I want to OD of being positive I don't see the harm. It went kinda downhill from there. I will be honest I do not watch the news very often it is too depressing. I stay informed selectively about world events and I try not to take in too much of the sad stuff because that stuff stays with you and in my opinion its toxic.


I hear/read things and pray and walk away. When I was a Domestic Violence prosecutor I had to develop that kind of armour because there's no crying in court (yeah just like in baseball :-) and as to be expected DV is a heavy issue to deal with on a daily basis. Anyway I don't mean to portray that life is a bed of roses. I think I speak very candidly about my struggles and I choose to not dwell in the negativity or depression. That doesn't mean I don't have pit stops and pity parties but ultimately I know its gratitude that will bring more blessings into my life and why short change myself?

I often think about this blog and my journal and I rarely talk about those major things like the tsunami, or the earthquake, the war and I sometimes feel convicted that I should make some reference to them but I often make a conscious decision not to. Its not to disrespect the victims or downplay the sadness its just that, that news is everywhere. My blog and my journal are my safe havens; my pieces of the world. When I am dead and gone I hope that isn't seen as selfish but then again I'll be gone so it won't matter :-) but know that I do care and pray on these huge things that are out of our control because only God can deal with these things.  


Maybe the issue/concern is I am not really feeling my feelings...and that isn't healthy either. I totally get that! I think I have passed that stage for the most part though. I know my struggles with weight are partly related to that ability to "check out" but I dunno I don't feel like that's what I have been doing. I sincerely feel like I am learning that the more good you take in the more good you can give out to the world and make it a better place. But anyhoo,  I went through some emails this morning and one came from a fellow Junior Leaguer and the opening liner was "I always enjoy reading your blog and your outlook on life. You need to bottle your positive energy." I thanked the person and told them about the OD concern but this email just confirmed its not a bad thing!

Other updates! Ohh Superman has left the building... Blessing and releasing him as my friend Tosha would say (and actually did say back in February lol I'm hard headed! I know!) Well I told him his actions on our date and his subsequent inaction wasn't adding up. He said he was trying in terms of communication but after some back and forth the upshot was that he was having some "internal conflict" over having a more serious relationship with me even though he initially said he wasn't looking for a relationship just moreso dating at this post recently divorced stage in his life. He said he was going with his feelings on our date and that explained his couple like behavior because he was having such a good time. I told him I get that he goes with the moment but that's not the best policy when other people's feelings are involved.

Funny, I had a nice email exchange with a Soror last week about the situation and she made a good point we (he & I) were not consistent in terms of our intentions and our actions. Her suggestion was to walk away..again I'm hard headed lol But I did as she suggested and told him I am in a different place now than when we met in Janaury and nowI am looking for something more serious and it would be foolish of me to miss a good opportunity by being distracted by him. He understood and he said I didn't really call him and let him know if I really liked him. Yadda Yadda Yadda.... I told him I suspect what the real deal is he is used to women being a lot more aggressive with him, that's just not my style I like Alpha men (Ughh the irony lol) and I am used to men being assertive in person as well as when we are not in each others' company and he seems to only get half that right and I like consistency. He understood and we parted ways as friends...well after I deleted his number and pictures lol oh just saying gotta make room for a fresh start! lol I am a lil dissapointed (the ego talking here) but I do think everytime I meet someone new it gives me a clearer picture of what I do and don't want. He had a lot of good qualities driven, focused, funny, community service minded, likes kids but doesn't have any... But he was a lot older and didn't want children, poor communication skills (ie., texting vs. coversation), too busy (I have some nerve lol), bad follow though on important matters- all deal breakers really but you know the routine miss one net 15 one coming! Ok seriously...


Speaking of fresh starts I am employing the use of a professional dating service! No eHarm or one of those types but like a for real Matchmaker. I know right? LOL

The company is One Degree From Me  and its owned and operated by Paul  Brunson. It came to my attention after a post on the Essence magazine facebook page. Apparently he's the only full time African American matchmaker in the country or world. He's out of DC so I facebook stalked him...or looked him up (whatever makes you more comfortable lol) and I sent him a friend request and went to his company's website. I got an email from his company shortly after the "exit interview" with Superman *cue the Twilight Zone music* lol so just filled out their information sheet and sent it in! So I'll keep you posted!


Its funny I got into a chat with a friend from law school who has lost 30 pounds and she said she was hoping it would improve her dating life and I told her losing weight has opened up the dating pool without a doubt but its like Biggie said "Mo' money, more problems!" I told her its not a cure all and there are women out there 300- 500 pounds happily married and being treated like queens so weight is the least of the issues to deal with when it comes to finding The One is what I have realized. In fact I recommended The Soulmate Secret book to her too and I'll follow up with her. 


I think I am finally in the place I was in 2009 when it came to my weight. I knew there were tools and resources out there that could help me to be successful but I was/am so used to doing things my way and in all honesty my way works with almost all my endeavors... my two holdouts are weight loss and dating. I gave into the experts on the weight loss front and got excellent results so now I think its time to turn the reigns over to the relationship experts and see where we are a year from now! They claim:


"Our exclusive and discreet service matches and connects high caliber, highly educated, highly eligible and successful individuals who wish to meet and form significant relationships and/or share their lives with one another. Additionally, our relationship coaching and content empowers and educates you to create fulfilling and lasting relationships with like-minded individuals."

Sounds like a plan to me! They doing matching and coaching so I opted for both. Such an overachiever! I am sure there is something we can all learn about relating to the opposite sex better and improving communication so I am going for it. I have no problem meeting and attracting a wide variety of men so there's something else afoot and I'll take that charge and learn from it. Heck I got a book to write!!! LOL

On the workout front I am back into my groove! Saturday I had a 2 hour session, Sunday I rested, Monday another 2 hours, Tuesday I took a sick day, today I have Krav Maga, Thursday Krav maga again, Friday I have an event! Saturday's my AKA meeting at 9am so I might try for an early session at the gym and afterwards its a spa day with my Sorors. Sunday I need to see some action possibly Krav Maga again and Monday back to Personal training.

I was down another 1.2 pounds this morning which is huge b/c its (men look away) TOM and I am usually up which means I am looking forward to the next weigh in!

I am down 9 pounds since April 14th a little over 2 pounds a week which will have me just shy of my 30 pound goal by June 30th and I'll take it!!  And for the record that means I am only 21 pounds away (once again) from my lowest weight per my weigh in May 2010 when I hit my goal! Soooo I'll keep ya posted on all fronts!!! Thanks for all the positive enegy and encouragment!

Seven days

I remember this saying "Seven days without prayer makes one weak." Get it week...7 days..weak... It came to mind as I let 7 days pass without working out. I was feeling pretty stressed and blah this week and not working out did not help! I did walk to lunch unexpectedly (I just couldn't get a cab lol) with my friend from high school Charmine *waving high Char Char!* We met for lunch at a restaurant called Rasoi Indian Kitchen. We are both working on our health so we went for Indian although it can be kinda tricky with all the coconut with and other yummy things. Well it was goooodddd. In fact I took my coworker back the next day lol

But no real exercise! I feel the difference too! I am teaching three classes and two ended this week and so that frees up a good bit of time and the third class starts a bit later so there is time to workout then go and before I know it it will be over! On the positive side I have been doing a lot of praying and reading this week. The two books I am working on are The Power of Positive Thinking and The Law of Attraction. I need to update my vision board and I feel like I need more clarity of my new goals!

Speaking of goals...I skipped WW today still feeling tired so I slept in and I weighed in at home and I was down 1.8 pounds! I have no idea how! I was wayyyy off program this week! Wayyy off! I have still kept up on My Fitness Pal and I think that has helped some. So that 6.8 pounds out of my 30 pounds by June 30th goal. Good stuff!

Well I am headed to the gym for a 3 hour workout and tonight it's on! The Second Annual Brothers Who Can Cook event is tonight and it should be fun! 100 men who are gonna throw down in the kitchen, live music, and did I mention men? Ha! Good times await!

Have a Happy Mother's Day!

Ok for the foodies! :-)

We had PALAK CHAAT ~Crispy Fresh Spinach laid on a bed of sweet Yogurt, Topped with Tamarind Chutney! De-lish!

Tandorri Chicken wings ~ Yummy

Then Chicken Tikki with sauce on the side