Friday, May 4, 2012

When was the last time you watched the sun set?

When I came up with this title last week while in Jamaica I had no idea the new meaning this question would take on. I was in Montego Bay with my sister and we got in somewhat late in the afternoon hit the beach then did dinner as the sun was setting. I feel safe to say it was the first time either of us watched a sun set, at the very least first time we watched together that's for sure. We were so taken by it all we could do was sit and watch and marvel at how absolutely beautiful it was. I felt a deep sense of gratitude and appreciate for having a really good life and the opportunity to be able to sit still (for a change) and see something so wonderful! The end of 2011 and the start of 2012 has been challenging emotionally there has been a lot of change and a lot of death and its taking it toll on me but for that moment I felt such a feeling of peace and tranquility…

The rest of the weekend consisted of my Uncle’s book release party, my Grandmother’s 94th birthday, and our family reunion. Again I felt a sense of gratitude and appreciation for being able to be there (even though I was a bit cranky) and learn about my Uncle’s autobiography which is actually more of a family history book, spend time with my Grandmother who is 94 *cough or 99* years old and still in her right mind and strong as ever, be with my Dad who is really an amazing man and Father. I have a great Dad granted I am a Daddy’s Girl but I really saw him in a different light and I am so blessed to have a Father like that. One of my oldest friend’s once told me how much she liked my dad because he was “The Community Dad!” because he would pile (maybe illegally) all the neighborhood children in his car and take everyone swimming at the pool or beach and she always remembered that. He’s still the community Dad in a lot of ways lol but meeting some of my cousins and seeing their relationships with their fathers in comparison really made me pause and tell him he is a good Dad. I guess as a parent you really never know for sure what your kids think about you. I know on the last trip we took for my Uncle’s funeral my Mom pointed to me and I overheard heard say to my Dad, “Well at least we know we did one thing right.” Ahh divorce guilt.

But, I felt good to hear it and I know my parents are proud of me and all that I have done in my life and they set the bar of expectation VERY VERY high and with good reason both were born in a Third World country, made it to American, and grabbed a hold of the idea of this ideal of “The American Dream” the dream everyone is promised and totally rocked it! Its amazing and I was telling my Dad that visiting Grandma keeps me humble and I don’t know if that was their plan all along but you don’t appreciate things like hot water and air conditioning until you don’t have it at the ready lol

All in all it was a great weekend and I was able to present my Uncle with a token of the family’s appreciate for his hard work and dedication to science which has and will benefit so many people. I was able to share a few kind words about my Grandmother and let her know I appreciate her and I am so grateful to be blessed with a Grandmother like her. We all are. She prays for all of us and I wanted her to know those prayers have made a difference in our lives and we are ever so thankful for her love.

Well fast forward to when I came back from Jamaica and why this title is a double entendre. Well… I came home and my cat of 16 years Sunni had a stroke and passed away around 4am that morning. I am still in shock because she hurt herself a few months ago and she bounced back well but it looks like she had blood clot which probably formed as a result of her more limited mobility and had a stroke I rushed her to the Falls Road ER they tried CPR but she died :-(

When our other cat CJ passed away over the holidays I started to think man I would hate for Sunni to hang on that long and then I would have to face the fact that I may need to put her to sleep her. But now that this happened I feel so cheated! She was fine that evening and that whole night. I have never seen or gone through anything like this.

I was saying to  some friends that I feel silly to be so upset because I know people have lost their parents, children, and friends and she was a cat but I am really...well anyway… she was not a “good” cat in the sense that CJ was.

CJ was so sweet and nice! Gentle spirit. Sunni was actually a little touched and would bite you while you pet her and look you in your eye as if to say and I’ll scratch you if you take too long to pet me again. LOL But she was my little Sunshine (called her Sunni for short) I adopted her after a realllyy messy break up and ever since I picked her up the first time in the Waldorf ASPCA and she threw a hissy fit when I put her back in the cage I knew she was the one I wanted! She loved me and I loved her she saw me through college graduation, law school graduation, bar exam studying, moving like four times, new cars, homeownership, new jobs, weight gain and ultimately loss and I just knew I would have her as a back up babysitter for when I finally had a kid or two! Pets are really amazing talk about unconditional love...

But to everything there is a season and our season was over I guess…I am really going to miss her. RIP Sunshine…
Clearly her bed
Sunni & CJ back in the day. Clearly their couch! LOL
I mean this is what I was dealing with lol
Look how tiny!
Sunshine in her bed...clearly... lol
So peaceful
And just like that the sunshine is gone!

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