Well not that I took a huge "break" between the last break up and well today (lol) but I did I re-think my idea or logic about jumping right back into something with just some one realtionship wise. I think old, new guy was "safe" not because he actually was but because I already knew him. I ended that. I took some time with a few books and my journal and I feel like I am in a good space and I am content again with being single. Now my exs are coing out the wood works but that is to be expected but not looking to do any re-runs. Only fresh meat need apply! LOL
Its a new year now and I am getting back out there. I am so busy and I really don't enjoy "juggling" but I am a lil tired of being so serious about dating! I guess at my age one needs to be serious but there has got to be a happy medium. I tend to be a serious Type A person and well that works it seems everywhere but in matters of the heart. Why can't love just be practical? Linear? Predictable. If I burn 3,500 calories I am going to lose a pound. Period. If I give a guy my number he should call and call often...Right? Humm humans are just not so scientific! Dang!
A Soror sent me an article yearsss ago entitled Why The Smartest People Have The Toughest Time Dating (check it out)
Now I aint bragging... ok maybe I am... I am smart, very smart in fact I have a 187 IQ! Look that up; its up there people! The article really resonated with me but I'll be damned if I understood what to do next! Well its 2011 and I am gonna switch the game up and have some fun and really date! I'm off to a great start by meeting a few new men and well I am just going to try and not take myself or dating too seriously and see what happens--scratch that... and enjoy the ride! :-)
The downside is dating involves a lot of eating out so I need help with that. I have read all the do outings vs dinner date ideas but men like to eat! Dinner and a movie is a classic date! Well Date #1 is coming up and I told him plan something "fun" & I am expecting something active! He works out and seems pretty fun so we will see. I am a take charge kinda gal but I am really gonna sit back this year and let it flow. So I will need to find a way to ....(oh is that letting it flow? lol) encourage these men to do things like bowling, skating, heck I'll even try horseback riding! Oh ohh or rock climbing! Any suggestions on how to put that out there without being bossy?
Anyyywayyy....So I lost 10 pounds or I guess re-lost as I refer to it so its actually "recycled" weight. The check in lady said I must tell my Leader and I said "Nah this is recycled I dont celebrate relosing the same weight!" She looked kinda disapproving but let me go about my business. Wise woman. Ok so I am only 26 pounds from my 100 pounds weight loss goal (again) lol good I can laugh! Then my WW leader Joann gave a good confession. Joann lost 80 pounds on Weight Watchers over 30 years ago. She looks amazing and she said she wanted to share that what keeps her on point is the fact that she sees "Josephine" who was Joann 80 pounds heavier. She said "I see her at the buffet line, I see when I go for a walk, and I see her even at the Weight Watchers meetings!" Her point was that she knows that the old Joann/Jospehine is right around the corner! Taunting her about counting points, exercising, and reminding her she eventually will "merge" back into Josephine! She was wary that that would freak us out but on the contrary we all understood. That's deep and I so related to her at that moment. I regained that weight like it was nothing! And let me tell you 30 pounds is not NOTHING! Pick up a 30 pound dumb bell and check it out! And the scary part was it felt like it happened in a blink of an eye! Because the old Cylia is always right around the corner! The Cylia who doesn't want to count points, or go to the gym, or weigh and measure my food, she doesn't want to journal, or even go to her Weight Watchers meetings. Now I just saw the movie Black Swan (sorry I am not a fan) HOWEVER that inner conflict and duality resonated with me in terms of my weight loss efforts.
Moving ahead in 2011 I need to be more valiant and accountable. Old habits = weight gain. Period. One skipped meeting for me does equal 4 missed meetings, eating fries, drinking too much, and not exercising enough...Old Cylia... The Word says "So, because you are lukewarm--neither hot nor cold--I am about to spit you out of my mouth." I need to take on the Lord's attitude I am either in or out of this healthy lifestyle. I need to submit and that's just the truth. I fight being forced to count points, drink water, exercise, journal. But what am I fighting that for? Why am I lukewarm on this area of my life that always runs hot or cold on any subject from the color I wear on my nails to the way I write a legal motion. I am a black or white, on or off person but in this arena I am lukewarm. now there are other areas I can loosen up and that's what I'll work on but I am fully committed and happy about it!
Today was a good but somber day. I met with Charles out of privacy concerns I wont go into why but he is a trooper we had a good workout then I did Zumba. I can't dance a lick but Zumba was fun! Now I must say I enjoyed watching myself in the mirror but thats a post for another day! Zumba is good for the mind and body! A/w I ran on the treadmill a few times I went 3 minutes without stopping. Now that may not be impressive to you but I don't run but for some reason he cranked the treadmill to 4.5 and I was off. I did it again after Zumba to see if it was a fluke and it wasn't. I can run I just don't but I think from now on I will.
New things in 2011.
Anyway I came home and cooked some jerk chicken b/c we are having a girls game night tonight and I am looking forward letting my hair down.
2011 Best Life Ever!