Friday, April 1, 2011
Well my good Soror friend is getting married!! Yeahhhhh! And she asked me to be in the wedding! I am honored of course but I really made up my mind this shall be the last trip I take to David's Bridal... as a bridesmaid anyway lol They carry Vera Wang now you know? Needless to say the $30k number on my vision board is not among the offerings but that's ok. Ok back to my point this is the last wedding I am going to be in I just think after 35 is too old to be in a bridesmaid dress. My opinion! No shame for anyone else but for me this is it! Anyone else looking for me to be in their wedding you got two months to make it happen!
My other soror friend said that if most of my friends are my age wouldn't that mean I would not have any bridesmaids in my wedding. I said well I didn't plan to ask anyone! I mean I guess if my sister wants to be in it she can but I just don't think at this stage its all that necessary. Plus I want a destination wedding I couldn't in good conscience expect people to pay for travel, buy dresses, shoes, etc and all that. So *Kanye shrug* It sparked an interesting debate on the issue and a few others agreed and one Soror friend gave a mini protest in honor of her wedding. I said welllllll I'll read a poem or bible verse but dude this is it! LOL
Anyhow I have been in a few weddings and in fact there was one I turned down and the reason I did was because of my weight. Eventually my friend and I talked about it (and mind you she had been divorced since then) but she was really hurt that I kept her hanging because I really didn't know how to say I didn't feel comfortable so I just kept putting it off until finally it was too late. It definitely affected our relationship and like I said it was some years later we spoke about it and I told her why I behaved like that. She had absolutely no clue. Its so funny I thought it would have been obvious. Her sister is rail thin has always been and our other friends was no bigger than a size 8. At this time I maybe was a 20/22. Nah wasn't at all interested! It was a defining moment for me though about self image and friendship. Real friends don't care about that and after that I vowed to never do that to another friend. I either needed to lose the weight or suck it up and be a faithful friend because that day isn't about me anyway. I was asked to be Maid of Honor twice after that and I still cringe at the idea and the memory of those events. Lets just say I had to make good friends with a seamstress. Each wedding was an emotional ordeal for me but I did it.
Well my bridesmaid NSV (non scale victory) was my trip to David's yesterday! My experience yesterday was very different from the past. I had several choices of dresses and styles and I was able to walk out with something! In fact I actually need it taken in :-) Sweet! Every other time I had to order and then have fabric added. Awful. But yesterday was a good day! Very good. Could have been better these 25 recycled pounds had me a size up which I almost let blow my high BUT I looked so DAMN good in the dresses I let that negative self talk go!!
Posted by Cylia at 2:34 PM