Though she be but little, she is fierce!

Wow what a week! What a summer! I can’t even wrap my mind around how the time has flown by on me so quickly! Well I been back to my AKA and Junior League routine. Ironically someone on Instagram was shocked that we (Junior League) began so early lol yeah it doesn’t feel like we had much of a break especially not the membership department!

Anyway in all the busyness I made an effort to cook! Yesss chile I am back in the kitchen and I enjoyed it!!! I will add pictures below with the fixings! Most were easy quick fixes but it is easy to get bored with eating the same ole things and that makes eating out more tempting!

I hit up Trader Joe’s and grabbed some oldies but goodies but found a few new items as well!!

It’s a 3 Day weekend and I can’t waitttttttt!!!! I plan to go back to Weight Watchers and see my old WW Leader Joann! I been slacking and unmotivated I tried to say it shouldn’t matter the message is the message but for me… it does matter so she isn’t that far away so it will be worth the drive! I miss her spunk and real talk! So we will make the drive over and hit the gym (still undecided as to what though) I bee hiding from my Personal Trainer lol smh shameful! I know but remember the goal of the blog was to help a mission woman on a mission to incorporate consistency…so its part of my thing.. our thing so I will work through it.

There is a Greek Day Party and I got tickets to the Baltimore Grand Prix I have never been but seems cool enough to check out plus I got a hook up with tickets!

Ok so for the title I love Shakespeare and I always remember this quote from high school, from a Mid Summers Night Dream b/c I have always been short and feisty lol in the play Helena is implying that although Hermia seems nice enough, when she gets angry she is argumentative and hurtful. So it was like a warning that although Hermia is small (her lack of height is mentioned several times in the play) she is nevertheless a force to be reckoned with. Yeah that’s pretty much me. So I been working on that part a bit but it always reminds me that I am a fighter not in the street like the post card *slow cough* but in life. I go after what I want and I work hard so this journey to wellness as I call it is something I have to stick with so we shall see what the end of 2013 brings but I am feeling like its gonna be a great ride!!!

 I have regained a lot more than I care to admit but my goal is to lose 50 pounds by Jan 1st. I booked a super cool New years trip and I have 2 trips in Sept. Cant wait!!!!

Anyhoo life is good and I am well hope all is good for you all as well!

Use ground turkey or beef, brown meat add spices! Also add onions, peppers, and tomatoes

First boil the green peppers. I used a microwave and did 3 -5 minute sessions until they were a bit soft. THEY WILL BE HOT so be careful. Slow scoop the meat into the peppers that have been cut in half and cover with foil and bake on 350 for about 20 minutes

Uncover the peppers and add cheese and bake for another 10 minutes



I love TJ but use any large portabella muschroom caps, I washed them off then dried them

Add your fave pasta sauce! I used a new TJ one

Add pepperoni and cheese and there you go! Bake for 25 minutes on 350! The mushroom will taste like a moist tender piece of meat! So delish

I use Turkey Bacon great taste!

Now that I think about it I have posted this chicken veggie soup I learned to make while in Panama! Basically chicken, chicken broth, cilantron, carrots, corn, and celery!

NEWNESS and it is good!

NEWSNESS anddd its just ok... Needs more pineapple taste vs caramel

DELISH!!! But high in everything but I guess lower than a cocnut cake lol 6 WW points :-O

Random produce market finds!

Same with this! I add to to almost any meat now!

Ground turkey with the Mojo so soo soo good!

:-)



A diet of nutritional ignorance…

A diet of nutritional ignorance…

Hey good people! I am excited to do this post because I did a blog post about juicing before after I purchased a nice juicer from Walmart last year I gave up on it pretty quickly b/c of all the trash it created! Two bags of carrots and have half a cup of juice. Frustrating and a waste of money IMO! Well some Sorors started talking about the Nurtibullet and the fact that it grinds up everything which eliminates all the wasted trash (and good fiber) it has easy clean up and blends things up extremely well! I went on a whim and bought it from Walmart and I LOVE IT!!!  

I posted a few pictures and figured I should do a post and give some reviews and recommendations. The title came from the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. A doctor was explaining most of the health issues in this country are based on our poor diet: A diet of nutritional ignorance. OUCH! But what you don’t know… you don’t know! The documentary was very inspiring and informative a must see!

I tried the Dr. Oz 3 Day Detox… EPIC FAIL! Lol The shakes were not good. The dinner one was the best of the lot but it was the best of the worst lol I ended up modifying that one. The plus side was I started using Kale which I was kinda scared of before lol

So far I have only used coconut water but I plan to try almond milk after the Dr. Oz suggestion and Sorors cosigning!

 A word of warning making an all fruit or mostly fruit drink will add up quickly calorie wise. I plugged in the a few in My Fitness Pal and I was shocked! So be careful!

So here goes:

Starting out Shopping List

Liquids

Coconut water –Any brand

Bottled Water

Almond Milk (I got the low calories unsweetened version)

Fruits

Apples

Berries: Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries

Cantaloupe

Bananas

Grapes

Peaches

Mangos (frozen Trader Joe’s work well)

Pineapple (canned in natural juice or fresh)

lemons

limes 

Veggies

Spinach

Kale

Cucumber

Avocado

Celery

Other items:
Ground flax seed
coconut oil
almond butter

A combo of items from the Farmers Market, produce market, and grocery store for the Dr. Oz 3 Day Detox

Dr. Oz Detox  Breakfast shake ~ 1 cup water, 1 TBsp. Flax seed, 1 cup raspberries, 1 banana, 1/4 cup spinach, 1 Tbsp Almond butter, 2tsp lemon
It was OKKKKK Not sweet but the almond butter was a nice change of pace 

Final product not pretty but lol

A mason jar! Its a great way to make a few extra batches they last 2-3 days max in here. Fresh is best!

My new favorite! Less calories!

My faves:

#1)
My new Fave is one I made this morning I just call it the Nurtibullet Cucumber #1

1/2 cucumber
1cup spinach
1 cup mango
1 pink lady apple
1/2 cup pineapple
8oz of coconut water
3 thin slices of ginger and blend!

I then take out half and add more water to make it thinner. Depending on your taste buds you may want to add more ginger but its pretty light you do not taste the cucumber or spinach but the mango and apple flavors come through nicely.
Less than 200 per serving

#2)

1 cup Kale
1 cup coconut water
14 pieces Trader Joes frozen mango
1.5 cups of blueberries
2 Tbsp ground flax seed

This is very good but comes out very thick. Again I cut all of mine in half and add a little water!
This is about 276 calories per serving (serving size in 2)

#3)
1 cup of spinach
1 cup of pineapple
1/2 cup coconut water
1 banana
1/2 cup strawberries

Very sweet and before I was checking the calories :-)

#4)
1 cup spinach
1 cup mangoes
1 cup strawberries


#5)
1 cup baby carrots
1 cup spinach
1 cup coconut water
2 apples

#6)
1 cup spinach
1/2 cucumber
1 cup blueberries
1 cup pineapple
2-3 thin slices of fresh ginger

#7)
1 cup mango
1 apple
1 cup spinach
1 cup baby carrots
1 peach
1/2 cup blackberries and raspberries * warning if you have a thing about textures do not use black berries or raspberries the baby seeds cannot be ground up thin enough to not feel them. I plan to try a bag of frozen ones to see if the same issues arises!

#8) Dr. Oz Dinner drink

1/2 cup mango
1 cup blueberries
1 1/2 cup coconut water
1 cup kale
1 Tbsp lemon
1/4 avocado
1/4 tsp Cayenne pepper
1Tbsp flax seeds

I did not have the cayenne pepper so I will say you don't need it. Avocado sounds weird but it blends in so well you cannot taste it. This came out a bit thick for me so i spilt it in two and add more plain water.


#9)
Mean Green

• Apples (granny smith) - 2 medium (3" dia)

• Celery - 4 stalk, large (11"-12" long)

• Cucumber - 1 cucumber (8-1/4")

• Ginger - 1 thumb (1" dia)

• Kale - 6 leaf (8-12")

• Lemon - 1/2 fruit (2-3/8" dia)

Good and it is healthy about 250 calories

#10)

Green Breakfast

• Apples (green) - 2 medium (3" dia)

• Carrots - 3 medium

• Cucumber - 1 cucumber (8-1/4")

• Grapes (green) - 15 grape

• Pepper (sweet green) - 1 medium (approx 2-3/4" long, 2-1/2" dia)

• Spinach - 2 cup

• Tomato - 1 medium whole (2-3/5" dia)

 I did not use the tomato but you really do not taste the pepper at all!


Ok those are my top 10 starter kit juices! I would highly recommend the Nurtibullet its reasonable at $99 vs some of the bigger more expensive brands. It gets the job done. The main upside is there is no real clean up and all the fiber you lose with other juicers goes right into you cup for all those added benefits!!

I also purchased 2 rubbermaid containers to carry the juice to work or to meetings in the evening. They were less than 4 bucks for a twin set at Walmart in the tupperware asile. Its been very helpful for me to have them handy so I didn't snack on bad foods or other goodies at meetings at night. They are not pretty so you will catch people looking at you and that green sop and wondering how you can drink that lol

Next up I will do my post on the Farmers' Market in Baltimore city! Had a great time there last weekend and found some cool items like purple peppers and white eggplants! I also got (from a friend) a HUGE... Ahhh I will save it for the psot but I am trying a few new things out to keep me on the right path and I will share them!

See ya soon!

please check in once you've tried one or two and please feel free to share your ideas!!

An echocardiogram at 38...

Well yall know I don't play hide the ball with my blog titles lol so I had to have an echocardiogram this week. An echo is basically a sonogram of the heart to make sure things are runing well. I had an abnormal EKG and so I went to a cardilogist for a stress test and an echo! Let me tell you I am so grateful to be healthy! Getting and Echo at 38 was eye opening. The pic above isn't from my actual test but looks close enough. Let me just say... I know how people up and die! Do you know how hard your heart works to pump blood around your ENTIRE body!? Its a wonder how people lived way into the triple digits in the Old Testament of the Bible! I kind freaked myself out when I heard the sounds it was making lol it  just really made me realize 1) I need to stress less 2) I need to find more constructive ways to deal with stress. Good news was my Stress Test was perfectly fine there is a extra blimp on my EKG, there was one there last year too. Better safe than sorry but freaky I tell ya to watch your heart pump it was like watch something off of True Blood! I haven't heard back fro the Doc yet and the secretary said no news is good news but I think I will call next Weds just to be safe. All my other indicators are perfect low cholestrol, normal/low blood pressure, etc. only thing.. is of course the weight... always the weight...

I skipped the gym this week until I heard from the Doc he said I should keep my Heart Rate Monitor reading between 140-155 160 max he said I can go as high as 180 but I shouldn't push it.

So alls well that ends well

What Getting Back on Track Looks Like: New Finds!

Something new and colorful

Well this has been a good week and I need to keep pushing myself in the right direction! I went to see a Nutritionist last night and while this wasn't my first time I must say meeting with her was very informative. My insurance covers this so i figured why not utilize the service! I consider myself an old pro and this but its good for more feedback and additional accountability.

I went right to Trader Joe's after our meeting and sticked up big time. To be honest I haven;t done any real grocery shopping sine my cruise. Largely due to my refrigerator dying on me and honestly it seems like every today is having restaurant week lol and of course the portions are crazy so I always have left overs. But the only way to stop that is to get back on track.

I loveee lovee loveee Trader Joe's a lot of people mix them up with Whole Foods which is a bit pricey. TJ is very reasonable and the food is good and creative and cheap! I spent maybe $40 last night on all of this stuff!

I am loving my Nurtibullet I can't recall if I discussed it last time but let me tell you it's the best $100.00 I've ever spent! I juice just about every day and it always includes spinach! I'm mostly using fresh fruit but because I get them from the produce market I really can't use that quick enough! So I am inter grating some frozen fruits light as well since winter will be here before I know it anyhow! So I grabbed frozen blue berries, mangos, and pineapples. I must say was cheaper than in the regular supermarket!

I also bought some fresh Brussels sprouts, premade salads, chicken sausage, mini portabella mushrooms, colorful heirloom tomatoes and my fave pink lady apples! Two bags actually! Awesome! I will post some of my other fines but I will break them up into two or three posts as I eat them so I can give you my taste test results. I am back on my Paleo grind. I just feel better when I eat that way. Even when I tried to do Atkins/Southbeach add in the cheese and ow carb wraps or bread my body jut feels really sluggish and bloated! I hate it! So this was a good jump start. I had a great workout with my personal trainer on Saturday I am really feeling good and ending the summer strong. I am working on 100 oz of water daily. I am getting closer to 80 or so but that last 20 is hard to get in lol I literally have to drink alllll day! LOL

Aside from that I may be the last person on the planet who hasn't seen the tv show Lost. Its on On Demand so I said why not so far so good its a little sci fi and mystery which I didn't expect. I may have to tie workouts to watching episode since I watched three last night and didn't work out lol even if  I do crunches and squats to move on to the next episode.

I was having a really good reflective journal entry yesterday about my journey. I mentioned this last time I spend so much of my life dealing with food, exercise, weight gain/loss, and everything else surrounding those topics what more could I do if that wasn't the case. I also had to ask myself who would I be if "this" wasn't my issue. So people have family problems, money problem, men problem, career problems, kid problems they obsess with to the point that THAT issue is inextricably linked to who they are. Its a source of comfort and familiarity for the person nd the outside observer. I had to really think for a minute is this my issue b/c that's what people know and expect to be my issue? Who would Cylia be if she wasn't always talking about this stuff? Would it make others uncomfortable? Would it make me uncomfortable? Where would I fit in? What role would I then play? Is  fear holding me back? Causing self sabotage? I dunno... But its good to ask these things out loud. I can say I never felt my weight held me back. I'm very accomplished, well respected, loved, and appreciated by many but appearance is always a factor no matter what. For good or bad... so again more questions as we go towards the end of the year. Anyyyhoooo back to food (lol) and exercise (lol) and good thoughts...


A total of 6 WW points plus points for a serving which is considered 4 oz this has 3 servings. So flavorful 4-6 oz is plenty





This was a great find I think its the best chicken salad I have ever had

 


Great NEW finds! Ok I have seen the pink sea salt but got it...Ok its really just cute I really didn't taste anything different lol the fresh peeled garlic is great I get a pint from my produce market but they go bad quickly and freezing them seems to kill the real flavor. These come peeled in several small punches! Love it! And ohhh so fresh!



2 Months, 1 Birthday, 7 Countries, and Dudes who only look good on paper...

Well where does the time go?! Ok that's not the best way to kick this off but my title gives the bullet points lol

Well its been 2 months! I know I've been MIA and I have gained and lost and lost and gained... What can I say! Aside from this extra weight my blood work and health are awesome 84 is my OVERALL cholesterol, Blood pressure is 117/86, Sugar, iron, etc. all great. I have a new primary care physician. She's cool I like her. Ok I like her b/c she gave me diet pills lol even though as soon as I stopped taking them I gained it all back :-/ I know no magic pills... Momma Oprah did say that!

~*~*~*

Well I am 38 and feeling greeaaattttt!!!! The birthday was uneventful I actually didn't do ANYTHING this year but after 10 years of always planning something I think I earned it! The funny thing was other people were more upset, confused, let down than I was lol buttt they got over it! LOL People kept asking... you realllyy not doing anything? Really? Well you teach people how to treat you...good and bad! They are so used to  celebrating my birthday especially on my actually birthday no matter what day of the week it is they wanted to celebrate with me lol So that's sweet! The only thing I did do besides sleep was I posted 38 quotes with pictures on facebook.. kinda my gift to the world... quotes to live by I guess. People really seemed to like that! :-) You learn a lot in 38 years! Heck in 1 year!!


~*~*~

I've been to 7...YES! 7 countries in 2 months! A Soror had her 50th Birthday on the Jewel of the Seas and we left from Puerto Rico (1) and went to Barbados (2) St. Maarten (3) St Lucia (see pic above) (4) Antigua (5) St. Croix (6)! Awesome! Every island has its own personality and I was with a really fun group so that helped as well! A week and a half later I was back in the air and on the road to Montreal for my sorority's Leadership Conference. It was nice but it was busy, busy, busy! I did meet some awesome new sorors, got to connect with ones I know but live all over the world, I learned  a lot rand I even broke down and CRIED in one of my workshops lol Oh My God howww embarrassing! I don't know what the heck happened!

Well the workshop trains you to be a trainer or presenter and we gave off the cuff presentations. Well the second or third one we were asked to paint a picture of why Alpha Kappa Alpha is important to you. I wanted to be jazzy *insert jazz hands here* so I sat there and got all poetic.. The theme I was working with was AKA is important to me because of our motto "Service to All Mankind." So I went over all the meaningful projects I've been involved in since  I became a member...   So I was all... "Picture teaching a middle school student how to balance a checkbook. Imagine donating food and clothing to a needy family for the holidays, can you see yourself  helping Fathers who are in prison to keep a connection with their children by working with them to record bedtime stories for their children... I go on and on and on and on... a decade of service to all mankind and I end my poetic painting with... "Imagine winning an Regional award named after an International president for your service and leadership and not even being in the sorority 10 years.." AND HERE COME THE WATER WORKS! I am tearing up now lol I had my WHOLE table and the Facilitator crying!!! CLUTCHING MY PEARLS!!!! OMG!!!! I had a conversation with my "Becky Sue" about it and she said I tend to go from thing to thing...goal to goal.. and kinda float above the actual acts and the emotions... I can admit that, that is true... I can be detached and she said I've probably never thought about my service...I  just go from one project to the next..again true... but that exercise gave me an opportunity to tap into why my sorority is important, why helping other is important to me and the feelings that, that generates. She suggested that being more reflective in other areas could be helpful as well. Not that she wants me crying but tap into the emotions of why I may over eat, or make a bad choice...stress? What is stressing you? Why is it stressing you? What can I do about how I am feeling that doesn't contradict my health and fitness goals...etc...

*EXHALING* But back to Leadership... I don't be doing no crying yall lol one of my Sorors in my group said "Well we KNOW you can't cry in court so its ok you can cry with us!" I love my sorors! :*-) I did come back and get 2 new journals to work with so we will see.

All in all I had a great experience tears notwithstanding lol I attended an excellent 2 part panel with the current elected leaders of  my sorority. It was eye opening to say the least. You know they ARE busy but to hear HOW busy they are... 75 calls a day, 300 emails in a few weeks, MIP request, traveling sometimes every weekend for months, still being a chapter member, having a family, being in other organizations and God forbid you have a JOB! LOL It was a lot... but they all were passionate about it and about AKA and it was just an awesome opportunity to be up close (cause ya know ya girl was in the second row lol) and personal with so many of them!  Good stuff! So there's an AKA break until chapter meeting in September! I'mma enjoy that! But I am feeling energized and pumped up to get back to bizznezz!!!


~*~*~

Dudes who look good on paper....

I hate them... ok hate is a strong word but its always IMO more of let down when you respect/are impressed by a man (and vice versa) and then you find out they lack character and integrity. And maybe I am overly sensitive to this but I really don't care for men who are married or otherwise in a relationship pushing up on me... Like... do I have a tag on my back that says my goal is to "steal" someone's man?  I don't think I give off the appearance of a woman who strives to be the OTHER woman. Hell I've had boyfriends I know I can catch a man who will want me and not need to creep around to be with me! Now I aint saying back in the dizz-aaa I might have had issues with the need for outside validation andddddd well I can rap a mean "I'll take your man.." By Salt & Pepa...lol but I'm good and grown now... lol GOOD & GROWN!

Like seriously... I really am all about the golden rule ESPLY when it comes to dating... I am not going to do something to someone that wouldn't want done to me. Maybe that damn Olivia Pope made men think professional, smart, attractive women are cool with being the sidepiece  (BTW that's the new term for mistress) evennnnnnn when THEY KNOW you know the wife or girlfriend personally... BUT MEN LET ME ASSURE YOU... IT AINT COOL! Don't test those waters.... Have some class and at the very least have some RESPECT for your wife or girlfriend to not walk that line...even a lil bit... I am sure you wouldn't like it if she did it to your frat brother... or friend...

But... glad he aint my problem.. *wiping my hands in sweet relief*

I've tapped out on the dating scene for the rest of  2013 I have some other more important goals... and its like I was sharing with Becky Sue and even on fb I feel like I spend soooo much time on "dieting" like I am always talking about it, hell got a blog about it, always thinking about everything I eat or don't eat, do or don't do! I am just exhausted of it and in the same way I am exhausted with dating... I am sooo over it... I know bad attitudes attract bad results but I been positive dang it lol and maybe its just a time of testing for me but it I have to concentrate my mental, emotional, and physical energy somewhere for the next 5 months I want it to benefit me! So I need to pick one... Love or Health.. In the words of  Mr. Joscelin Hernandez (from Love & Hip Hop Atlanta) For the rest of 2013..."Forget Love... I don't need it!"

But what I do need is to share my awesome pictures!!! I had suchhhh a great summer I know August just got here but it will fly by! I am doing a Challenge with my AKA Workout Group it is day two! Eating Clean and working on planks and jumping rope in addition to the other exercise! We have 128 Sorors participating! Awesome right? I went back to my Perosnal Trainer Charles on Monday and mannn did it hurt! Anytime I take a break.. I regret it lol so we are going back to our 2 day a week routine. I am looking forward to Saturday! My goal is to lose (and not refind any of it along the way lol) 50 pounds by Dec 31st! Totally do'able.... Don't believe me then watch!!! ;-0 ...

I'll check back soon! Thanks for the emails and textes I will do better I promise! :-)





 

Welcome June!

It is June 2013 we are officially half way though the new year! And what a new year it has been! I have had some highs and lows but mostly highs! I am so grateful for a new month and a renewed spirit ready to embrace whatever else 2013 has for me. I am expecting a lot of wonderful things to happen in this second half of the year!

I went to my new Doctor! I really like her. Got some blood work done because I am really dragging I feel like I did last year when I was really low on Vitamin D. Sure Nuff she sent me an email saying I have a few vitamin deficiencies. I glanced at the other results and they were good cholesterol, sugar, etc. so we have a follow up next week.

I been back at the gym going hard and my new heart rate monitor is a great tool! I have been on point with my Weight Watchers meetings and I had 2 great weigh ins in a row! 4 pounds each! I am down again this week but will wait to weigh in on Saturday since I went in on Sunday. I am journaling everything everyday I will share a few of my meals over the pass 2-3 weeks!  I'm feeling really good but every once in a while I am reminder how quickly every pound adds to my waistline. Like I wanted to wear a dress yesterday and I wore it last year it was free flowing last year and darn it if it wasn't too small! It was hugging alllll on my belly I was like yikes! On the other hand I did fit into some capris my Mother gave me a few months ago that couldn't get pass my thighs. Whoo hooo! Now I just fit!! I mean just! I could barely think about sitting lol but I was still happy!

So I have been busy as usual but all good things so I can't complain! I set some good goals for June here they are below!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Well I felt inspired to do a quick Mother's Day tribute! My Mom is out of the country (yup I get it from my momma!) so we will not see each other but she is with my favorite Aunt who is almost like a Mom to her so my sister & I will be sure to call them today!

My Mom was always supportive of my weight loss efforts she would even take me to her gym before thy had child care lol it's wired she was always on a diet but never overweight! Ahhh women! I am grateful that she introduced me to exercise, bought me my lifetime membership to Bally's and always encouraged me to stay the course! In her honor I am headed to the gym for a 2 hour workout! Enjoy your Mother's Day!!

Consequence is no coincidence

Consequence is no coincidence...

Consequence is no coincidence...

Lauryn Hill has been in my mind a lot lately. I am sure you've heard about her tax issues and all the other issues she's been dealing with over the years with her children's father. I swear that Marley boy broke her...I guess it hit me that she was so strong and secure and that album  really touched me and to be honest I still have her CD in my car! It just reminded me we have to be valiant about our happiness and mental health.

And health in general because it all ties together for me... I was up last week and again this week. But the line "Consequence is no coincidence..." Keeps ringing in my head because I have not been doing the right things. I've been doing what I want and then when the scale goes up I have the nerve to get disappointed. 

So all I can do is get it together. I went to the gym after my Weight Watchers meeting and I've set a new goal for myself to burn 500 calories every day....and I am not allowed to use facebook until I do! *gulp*  today was day 1! I remember seeing a workout cartoon that said if you have time to be on facebook you have time to workout. I spend hours  on facebook! So I need to adjust my sails on what's really important. So I'll keep you posted!

I'm upset and disappointed but I did take lunch a few days this week and I worked out after work on Thursday after a 2 hour commute. My goal will be to maximize my calories burned on Saturdays, Sundays,  and Mondays. 500 calories a day is 3,500 a week. As always food planning will be key! 

I also will work on mindful eating that was the Weight Watchers message. When I came home from the gym I cooked breakfast and had it at the dining room table without the TV being on. That's a first for me! Distracted eating causes over eating so no computers or TV during my meals. It will e a big adjustment but I felt the difference!  I made it through the chapter meeting and then went to the Flying Avocado and had a small vegan chili and Chicken Berry salad. I had company for half my lunch and that worked fine!   I'm claiming a GREAT weigh in next Saturday!

Well it's Saturday and I had a full day so I'm in for the night. Have a good weekend! 

Trust...

OMG its May 1st!!! Where did the time go?! WOW! We are just about half way through the year! That is bananas! And what a year it has been! I can't say its been all perfect but I have had a great start to the new year! For the not so good moments... when I got this email message above it hit me that I must learn how to truly TRUST the process. I have my own control issues so not knowing what will happen next (as it relates to dating and marriage) is an uncomfortable place for me. I am reading the book Think & Grow Rich and I just finished up the chapter on faith. If I have faith in the process I can let go of that need to know...and just trust that I have asked... I must believe... and the way it works is I will receive. The Law of Attraction is just like the Law of Gravity. It MUST work. That's really all I need to know. And because I ahve seen it happen SOOOOOOOO many times I already know that I know that I know it works!

I have been working on me listening to Louise Hay lessons on youtube, doing daily affirmations, and journaling more and it hit me if I was still in that relationship this work I am doing would not have happened. And this is some heavy stuff. Not that people can't learn and grow in a relationship but if you are prone to getting distracted easily well the results speak for themselves.

I think relationships can be a beautiful thing but I do see how one can quickly lose themselves and get wrapped up in getting their happiness and affirmations from the other person vs. internally. I got a lot of emails and text messages about my giving up post and those of you that know me know I was having a pity party lol I don't have them often but that was a moment of mental and spiritual weakness... I am human...its what we do... my Pastor preached last week about the fact that the devil attacks you where you are vulnerable. I must admit dating and weight loss are two areas that challenge me. The test must come b/c we are told to study so that  we can show ourselves approved.

Learning in a vacuum is meaningless.

I have to take what I learn in theory and put it into practice. So.

I am not giving up on love. In fact I am more determined and open to the possibility of BIG LOVE because I got a glimpse of what it could be like and I liked it. I deserve it. like Elizabeth Gilbert said in Eat Pray Love

On Instagram straight flexin' ~ LawyerGal1908

Oh yes yall I done found Instagram! LOL Scary! I love it! Not that I need one other social media network to get hooked to but I love it! Maybe b/c I am a picture person so to see other photo hogs in actions does my soul good lol

Ok back on topic... my point I've really set up a good life here by thinking good thoughts, being a very positive person, helping others, being focused on my goals, PUTTING A PLAN INTO ACTION, and believing the best lies before me (to quote Louise Hay).

On the weight loss front I am still tracking and journaling. This is a high stress week and I am over my points but I did get in a good workout Saturday and Monday. My new Heart rate monitor came. Its soooo cuteeee!! But I see I need to push myself harder. So today is an early day for me and I plan to hit the gym for 2 hours I need to burn over 1000 calories. As is customary when you get a new HRM (and every few months) you should test your levels and well mine came up as FAIR! humph This basically tests your level of fitness and last I checked I was elite! Granted that was over 2 years ago when I was in the gym 5 days a week and getting ready for my triathlon.. but still!! LOL

Anyhoowww!!! *eye roll*

Today's plan is a 2 hour workout after work and before an 8pm conference call about the big event I am chairing on Sunday. The event is a Day at te Races which is a "Hat & Glove Affair" of which I have no hat or gloves or dress lol I create my own stress...I know! But I am taking off Friday and plan to hit the Extreme Kickboxing class at my gym that morning, then go shopping and deal with any last minute details.

So I will check in before the weekend. Its May 1st and I am planning on another good weigh in this Saturday!!!  

Grace

I rarely blog on the weekends because I am usually on the go but this is on of those rare weekends when I am totally free! Well in all honesty my blackberry (yes I still have a blackberry for personal use! Don't judge me lol) deleted my calendar and I mean I had things all the way out until 2016 up in there! And no I did not back up! (As per the Sex and the City episode) Who backs up?!  :-/
All that is to say IF there was something planned for tonight...oh well!

 Anyway I had a good week.  A very good week and I don't know how I lost 3 pounds!! But God knows I needed that loss! I did get 3 good workouts and a total of 41 activity points but I also ate out a lot this week. Way too many times.  And I had lots of drinks! But I will say that is the beauty of the Weight Watchers program I stay within my points and I tracked like crazy. I finally figured out the password to my iPad so I was able to download the WW app and I am diligent about tracking everything! I mean everything! I swear I weighed I at home and I was only down .8 but by the time I got to WW the scale said 3 pounds! Just when I thought it was a fluke I even told the lady this is my lucky scale I will have to always use it lol the woman who weighed in before me who was still collecting her things to go sit down said.. well clearly you got some of my weight loss pounds I want that weigh in lol I told her...next week!


On the good I will say I tracked and I took meals and I planned my meals. I avoided bad snacks like that hot buttery unknown caloric content popcorn they sell at my job... You may recall I saw the lady cut off a hunk of butter and put into the popper one day.... I tried some new snacks like the plain chobani and ranch dip seasoning with baby carrots and celery. I am trying to find my veggie snacks vs so many fruits. I had a crazy busy week at work and my sorority has a major fundraiser I am chairing and it's like I am a committee of one. I am really overwhelmed and I let the board know that on Monday. It's next Sunday and I am looking forward to it last year was a lot of work but a lot of fun. We sold even more tickets this year and our sponsors have grown a lot as well! All good stuff! But that 3 pounds?! Nothing but the grace of God! Unmerited favor...

This week is off to a good start. I went to my gym after the WW meeting and did 15 mins onthe elliptical   machine and did 1 hour if Body Pump!

I then had my company's first vision board workshop of the year! It was great! It was a group of mentors for a national non profit. Had a great time. Made some good contacts for other clients in the area and I actually did some work on my first vision board for the year. I will reveal that at another time :-)

Anyway another good thing was I finally started reading the book Think and Grow Rich. It's kinda the granddaddy to The Secret. It got me to thinking about a few things and how I view love and relationships. I noticed in every other area of my life I don't tend to have Plan B. I am very all or nothing, black or white, on or off. But in the matters of the heart I keep saying if it happens it happens... Well that's not very on or off black or white is it? Am I sending the universe mixed signals? Either I want romantic love, a husband, and a kid/s or not. It's really that simple.

The other thing is I notice this in others especially when it comes to money...people who chase it either never seem to find it, if they get it they have to compromise themselves for it and they can't keep it. Donald Trump said it best (paraphrasing) its never been about the money, it was just a way to keep score. People see him as rich but that wasn't his goal his goal was to be the best in his field and well money was a nice benefit that happens to prove his talent was above the rest.

 I don't think I chase love in the traditional sense but I do think if I am honest in a sense I do. I can't rreally find the right words to explain it but that's something I have come to realize this week.

What I indeed to do with this information I don't know because my heart isn't in it right now but I've ...been getting that same message about quitting before your blessing all week... Right now my focus is me. 43 pounds to go! Right now I have and need tunnel vision and I'm ok with that. One thing this break up did was it taught me about detachment it's been elusive to me because of my personality but this was a good way to learn how to detach from the idea of a relationship unlike I have had the opportunity to before..

The reason why I am giving up...

It has been a rip roaring week or so! Rip Roaring!!! Let's start with the good! My sorority's Regional Conference was less than two weeks ago in Philly! ANDDDDD I won the Marjorie Holloman Parker Leadership Award! And I quote

 "The award is presented to one graduate and one undergraduate Soror who is making a major impact on Alpha Kappa Alpha and her community. The Soror will exemplify the strength, grace, and dignity, commitment to excellence, professional achievement, leadership and service that characterized the life of the 15th Supreme Basileus of Alpha Kappa Alpha." 

With our Regional Director and our International President

*EXHALING* WOW! And in true fashion I missed my 8 seconds of fame at the event where the award was being presented... Where was I?! I was working in the school supply drive donation room as apart of the regional committee duties b/c a volunteer overslept! I swear only me! Things like that happen to me so often I laugh now but fortunately my good soror friend ran to get me and I got my photo op and award!

As a fairly young member in years and in AKA years I must say it feels good to win this award. 2012 was an amazing year it really was; so I took a chance and pulled all that awesomeness together, added it to my 2013 vision board, prayed on it and submitted an entry and I won. When I write my autobiography I will talk more about that process because (as I shared with a Law of Attraction group I started online) this really took my belief in the law of attraction to a whole 'nother level.

Now for the bad or maybe not so bad. I am learning its all about perspective. My eating was off, wayyyy off and it was for a few reasons. Should I share the food p*rn or the reason first?! Ok food po$n!!

Popcorn Shrimp at the Loews in Philly~ Yes with real popcorn!!!

The Tickled Pink @ The Loews

Carmen's Chicken Roco!!! Reading Terminal Market

Hibachi Grill I had steak & shrimp!



AKA Cookie! I couldn't resist!

Anddd another round of Tickled Pinks oh and wings? LOL


First Decent meal



Whewwwww I did have one really good (healthy) meal at the Reading Terminal market...eventually! The problem is when you eat a certain way (I was doing Paleo) and you go back to the old stuff man oh man do you feel it! A lot!!! So I ended up getting a huge salad one day and man was it good! I forgot the Amish are closed Sunday so I never got any of their yummy fresh baked goods! That's for the best! I came back home let my body settle after the trip and jumped on the scale ok tippy toed onto the scale only to discover I was at my highest weight in almost 2 years!!!! :-O

I really was not shocked I have been in a bit of a funk since my most recent relationship ended. I was telling a friend recently dating when you are older is like losing a pet as an adult its a lot harder on you than when you are younger. I can remember breaking up with one dude by 1pm and on a date that night and not even thinking twice... Not this time.. I have given up! Seriously... I don't give up on much... Math...yeah gave up on that... piercings...yeah just my ears... swimming with dolphins... riding the New York subway... yeah that's about the sum total of things I have officially tried, hated, and given up on... So I am not saying this lightly...

Someone asked me if I was really that upset about him or the idea of having to start over in the dating game again and I guess it is a lil of both. I have prayed very specific prayers, done vision boards, read books, visualized and held onto good thoughts, worked on forgiveness, helped others, lived my best life ever, and still nada (in terms of a relationship) to show for it.

She suggested I think of it this way- at least I am getting dates and in relationships...A lot of people don't get that... I advised her it was not a glass half full kinda day so miss me with that.

I was talking about it with women co-workers two who have "given up" well one just for 2013 the other its been like 8 years and I was saying being "0 for 50" vs "0 for 0" is the same in my mind.. shoot if not worst... I'd rather be home watching Good Times (Waiting to Exhale reference) :-)

I just don't see the return on the investment... I just don't.

I feel like I was in a great place in 2012 and 2013 was off to a great start and now I feel all off track. I hate that. I let myself have the 3 week or so pity party and then I said I gotta shake this off and get back to who I am and the life I love and the Cylia I enjoy and not give someone or any situation that kind of power over me ever, ever, ever again...so I went back to Weight Watchers on Saturday.

I was up 14.6 pounds. Talk about an eye opener. I have not been to a meeting since February. I listened intently...their new meeting method is more of a classroom style open discussion with a fancy flat screen tv and videos etc. I almost jumped in my car and left when I got there to go to the other meeting with my old Weight Watcher leader but stopped myself and said "Change is good!"

I am glad I did that. A women there hit her 100 pound weight loss goal that morning. I was happy to see that. Inspired and encouraged.

Afterwards went shopping and ran into someone from my WW meeting she saw the pink pom pom on my sneaker and asked if I was in a running group and I told her yes Black Girls Run and she said she wanted to join but can't run. I told her people are at all levels they walk or run! Doesn't matter. That turned into a 15 minute conversation about how she hit goal and regained 15 pounds looked up and she regained 35 pounds so she was back to meetings b/c she realizes she needs that.

I told her I feel the same way and it can be fustrating but there are things I am really good at that others can't do so if this is my thing I have to stuck it up and get it done. Ironically, I ran into someone from my gym o Sunday and I haven't seen in almost 2 years and we had the same conversation she regained 45 pounds I told her I am at 46 myself so don't feel bad.

I said there are things I can do with two hands tied behind my back and blind folded that others can't even grasp so if this is the thing I have to work a little harder at so be it. I can change my size and fitness level but people can't change their IQs lol so seems fair lol

I went to workout with my personal trainer on Saturday and I had an aaaa-ttttt-tttudeeee! Its a good thing Charles knows me and knows to pay me no mind! LOL It was a great workout and I still can't figure out how after 3 years he still finds new things for me to do!

Sunday I went back to church it had been a few weeks and it was a good word. The sermon was about having sufficient funds in our faith bank account and jumping into action any time God gives you an opportunity to move forward! That was a word in due season! I then hit the produce market and grocery store afterwards then did 60 minutes in the Precor FX machine first time! I've never done 1 hour in that particular machine! *patting myself on the back* and first time I have gone to the gym on a Sunday in...forever...

I can't lie and say it felt good... I don't feel like doing any of this but I am focused on the results I want and the steps I have to take to get there. I'm 46 pounds from goal....again... no bueno... but I have been diligent about journaling online since Saturday. I downloaded the iPad App for Weight Watchers and bought the paper journal which is great! Its bigger and has a few pages for you to plan your week..meals, workouts, see challenges. I used to do that in my journal and keep the tracker for recording afterwards. I swear I have a multi million dollar idea in my head... Have I ever told you the story about Dieters Portions? Yeah that was my idea then all of a sudden theses 100 calorie snacks started coming out :-/

True story!!!
Anyhoooooo I got a lot going on as usual... work has been extra busy, I am teaching two classes, I have a lot of AKA stuff its all just a lot on me right now. Andddd I am asking for help and not getting much response...That bothers me because I do so much for others but I will be taking a step back from some of my duties and stepping down from others all together. Its the only answer.

I am really grateful for the help I have gotten but maybe I am doing too much and others can't see where their help is needed or valued. Furthermore, I was slated for a Board position  for the Junior League and I will need to focus my time and efforts there for a bit in that role.

Ohhhh I called in help to declutter again and a friend who has been asking over and over again to help me...well finally I called and she came over Saturday afternoon and Monday and cleaned out my office and guestroom. I mean the before and afters are amazing!!! The house even feels lighter! So next step is my room and we will do that next week.

The clutter just isn't good and she found so much of the same clothing I had to admit the reason was when I can't find something I buy new ones. I must have like 40 pairs of black slacks lol ok no lol I got to do better. The fact that I gave away 20 bags in the fall and still have plenty of clothing is proof of that!

I am always too busy to really stop and do that type of stuff plus I don't like it lol same goes for cleaning. Which is why I have someone who comes in every two weeks. The cleaners came and worked their magic and it made me feel a lot better too!

So slowly but surely I am getting myself back on track and focusing in on getting some things done to improve my mood and space. For me it all seems to go together.

One thing is for sure when I act right so does my body. I get a return on my investment so while dieting and exercising is fustrating on some level its not like the level of frustration I experience with dating so Imma stick with what works. I can accept everything aint for everybody and focus my time and enegry on the places in my life that bring me joy and I get a return on my investment. With no regrets! Hold on tight it gonna be a great ride!