Friday, August 27, 2010

Dreaming Bigger

"If you have accomplished all that you have planned for yourself, you have not planned enough."
Meddigo Message

I found that quote this morning (and for those of you know are my friends on facebook you know I am a quote junkie) but it really resonated with me because I have often said up until now I have achieved all of my major goals all but weight loss. Well I did the weight loss thing and it was anti climatic as you may recall when I hit the 100 pounds weight loss. I feel guilty even saying it but I know you all won't judge me (too harshly) because I know their are people who would cut off a leg if they could if it meant losing that much weight! I fully understand that its a big freaking deal and I am proud of the hard work and the ability to say YES I FINALLY DID IT! But I can't lie it was anti-climatic. Maybe its because I been chasing the weight loss dream for sooooo long I mean before weight was even a real issue I been drinking slim fast and going to the gym. Losing weight is all I really know how to do. Which was why I immediately said i was going to lose another 30 pounds. But it just didn't feel the same.
I will be honest I think I started to slack off so I'd have something else to do again like lose it twice! Ok not all of it but really when I hit that goal I kinda didn't feel as happy, relieved, or grateful even as I should have and I am still not sure why that is. A lot of things changed besides my clothing size. I lost long time friends a long the way and really none of my relationships are the same. In a way I am glad I met Mister after that goal so that wasn't an issue. But in the aftermath of the Iron Girl Triathlon I am going through what is commonly known as a post-event depression. Its not like a real depression that requires medication but its like all this anticipation and then the day comes you do it and then....nothing. I remember going through this after the Baltimore 1/2 marathon in 2007. I found an article in a fitness magazine that discussed the phenomena and it basically explained that's why a lot of people become hooked on doing these kinds of events because the post event depression pushes them to crave the next high. Well I am not so much craving the next high as I am just feeling kinda blue and thinking ok I did it...*whomp whomp whomp* No bueno!
In an effort to combat what may have been what caused me to regain that 45.6 pounds in 2007 I am trying to stay ahead of the feelings. I suck at biking. So sounds like a challenge to me! Ok I suck at it so guess what imma do more biking. Lord knows I haven't taken the bike rake off my car yet anyway lol A/w I sent an email to my office letting them know I did the Iron Girl and raised money for cancer and leap tall buildings in a single bound etc and one of my co-workers told me she plans to do a 30 miler (bike ride) on Sunday with her son and some of his Boy Scout buddies would I like to come? I thought that was odd since (lol) I went on about how long the bike ride took me and how I suck but she's a classic over achiever, great attorney, Harvard law, super Mom, etc. etc. so I guess SHE heard I was looking for ways to improve lol I said yes without thinking about it because guess what I am not gaining back any more weight because I depressed that my triathlon is over lol and bike riding isn't bad and what better way to get better than practice! She promised this was a mostly flat course around BWI so I am going to go.
Saturday the new Regional Director of my sorority is having a tea and luncheon and its in NJ. Not looking forward to the trip although I can't wait for the event. Anyway I found a ride so at least I don't have to drive. And I should be back no later than 6pm so I can get a good night's rest before the 30 miler. Wheels down 8am!
Needless to say I need an event now! Andddd I found an event its called the Tour Du Port its an annual bike riding event in Baltimore from 12-63 miles. Guess what I'm gonna do?! :-) So new things ahead! The event is Oct. 3rd feel free to join me!!
Other things in the quest for balance I got together for dinner with my soror and fellow Team in Training Iron Girl last night. It was great to talk with her and hear her impression of the race. Same as mine...Hard! lol But we said we would keep in touch and do other events or even workouts together! I told her I was game. I am going to send her the link to the Tour Du Port and see if she can do it! I may do a whole invitation on facebook in fact and get a group going!
My personal training begins on Monday again getting back into that groove. I have prepaid for like 20 sessions and used only 3! That's not good... But I aint gonna lie I been MIA from the regular workouts too and I need to make the commitment. Ohhhhhhh so Mister called me 2 days in a row to tell me he went to do part of the Iron Girl race course at the park! Just him and the stay at home Moms (lol) then he went to the gym to bike ride! I told him I was impressed :-) and I am. He's been talking about losing 50 pounds since we met back in April so he's been on a roll with the working out but diet is where its at. So he mentioned Weight Watchers a few times but he thinks it will be all women. But lately there have been at least 4-5 guys there every Saturday I've been so he shouldn't feel that way. But I am not a pusher because that doesn't work. Either someone wants to do it or they don't so I will encourage but I will not harass. I told him I'll do the walk with him too so we'll be in it together! :-)
My sister comes back from her month long European get-away in about a week. *Thinking good thoughts* She is a good workout buddy and food Nazi when she is on her best behavior! I am hoping she is motivated and will help me kick start my Les Mills love affair once again. I still have that goal of being a certified Les Mills instructor even if I don't ever teach. So gotta break through on that! I need to be in the gym 4 days a week! I have my personal trainer 2 days so I only need 2 more days! Just 2 more days! Easy enough :-)
Dreaming Bigger yall!


  1. Well I love our post weight loss relationship. I barely knew you before, but I love you now. You are my inspiration.

  2. I am so loving the approach you are taking in regard to how you are feeling post tri. Embracing something that I am not particularly good at would have not been on my mind at all.

  3. lol @ Soror Jacquie- I was just thinking about that this morning b/c I was going to call you and I thought dang I done "known" Jacquie for like 6 years but never really got to know her! And I think I did that with a lot of people and that's something I have been working on this year. I am thinking just another form of having my "guard" up but thanks for your friendship and sisterhood Soror! :-)

  4. @ Bash- Yeah its like being (well Jamaican-ness here) forewarned is forearmed or however the saying goes. Its a new approach for me so we will see how it goes! Thanks!!